Phoebe Buffay Quotes
Ross: That would be Marcel. You wanna say hi?
Monica: No. No, I don't.
Rachel: Oh, he is precious! Where did you get him?
Ross: My friend, Bethel, rescued him from some lab.
Phoebe: That is so cruel! Why? Why would a parent name their child Bethel?
Phoebe: So you guys, I'm doing all new material tonight. I have twelve new songs about my mother's suicide, and one about a snowman.
Chandler: Might wanna open with the snowman.
Phoebe: David's like, you know, Scientist Guy. He's very methodical.
Monica: I think it's romantic.
Phoebe: Me too! Oh! Did you ever see An Officer and a Gentleman?
Rachel: Yeah!
Phoebe: Well, he's kind of like the guy I went to see that with.
Monica: (About a disheveled Rachel) Oh my gosh! Rachel, honey... Are you okay? Where Paolo?
Rachel: Rome. Jerk missed his flight.
Phoebe: And then... your face bloated?
Monica: (Holding sandwich) Does anybody wanna split this with me?
Joey: Oh, I will.
Phoebe: Ooh, you guys have to make a wish.
Monica: Make a wish?
Phoebe: Come on, you know, Thanksgiving.
(They rip the sandwich in two halfs)
Phoebe: Ooh, you got the bigger half. What'd you wish for?
Joey: The bigger half.
Monica: (About Joey's modeling job) Oh, wow, so you're gonna be one of those "healthy, healthy, healthy guys"?
Phoebe: You know, the asthma guy was really cute.
Chandler: Do you know which one you're gonna be?
Joey: No, but I hear lyme disease is open, so... (Crosses fingers)
Chandler: Good luck, man. I hope you get it.
Chandler: An 80-foot inflatable dog loose over the city? How often does that happen?
Phoebe: Almost never.
Chandler: I just have to know, okay. Is it my hair?
Rachel: (Exasperated) Yes, Chandler, that's exactly what it is. It's your hair.
Phoebe: Yeah, you have homosexual hair.
(Walking in the cemetery) God, what a great day... What? Weather-wise!
Can I use the phone? I need to call my apartment and check on my grandma. Wait, what's my number? (Monica looks at her weird) What, I never call me.
I am going to sing a song about that moment when you suddenly realize what life is about. (Plays a note, lights go out) Okay, thank you very much.
Rachel: Come on, someone go.
Monica: Okay, I'll go. Senior year of college on a pool table.
Ross: That's my sister.
Joey: Okay, my weirdest place would have to be ... the woman's room on the second floor of the New York City Public Library.
Monica: Oh my God. What were you doing in a library?
Ross: Pheebs, what about you?
Phoebe: Oh ... Milwaukee. Well, it's really a weird place.
Rachel: Um ... Ross?
Ross: Disneyland, 1989. It's a Small World After All. The ride broke down. So, Carol and I went behind a couple of those mechanical Dutch children ... then they fixed the ride and we were asked never to return to the Magic Kingdom.
Phoebe: Oh, Rachel.
Rachel: Oh come one, I already went.
Monica: You did not go.
Rachel: All right ... oh, the foot of the bed.
Ross: Step back ...
Joey: We have a winner.
