Phyllis: Her hair looks beautiful.
Andy: Yeah we get it Phyllis. She looks like a freakin' movie star!

Oscar: It looks like the camera man was hiding behind the shelves.
Phyllis: Wait, so they were filming all the time even when we didn't know it?

Phyllis: What's he doing?
Dwight: He's searching out younger gays.

If I wanted Jamaican food I'd just hire a bunch of body guards and go there.

We have a gym at home. It's called the bedroom.

Phyllis: Is she Asian?
Erin: I don't know. She's from somewhere, I bet.

Creed: He put some snacks in the freezer for us.
Pam: You mean the frozen mice for the piranha?
Creed: No, the blueberry slurpy pouch.
Phyllis: He means the ice pack.

Andy: You know I'm the worst salesman here right?
Michael: But you're the best salesman on the inside.
Phyllis: What does that even mean?
Michael: You sold us all on Andy, a product that nobody wanted.

Blue Wasabi is so good but get the Cheeseburger. They say they won't do it, but they will if you make a scene.

I like being in the same building as Bob. It keeps me honest.

Phyllis: I got stung up my dress.
Dwight: Poor hornet.

I'm glad Michael's getting help. He has a lot of issues and he's stupid.

The Office Quotes

Sometimes I'll start a sentence, and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way. Like an improv conversation. An improversation.

Michael

When I was in college I used to get wicked hammered. My nickname was Puke. I would chug a fifth of SoCo, sneak into a frat party, polish off a few people's empties, some brewskies, some Jell-O shots, do some body shots off myself, pass out, wake up the next morning, puke, rally, more SoCo, head to class. Probably would have gotten expelled if I had let it affect my grades, but I aced all my courses. They called me Ace. It was totally awesome. Got straight Bs. They called me Buzz.

Andy