Rachel Green Quotes
Chandler: Hey, would you sleep with somebody to get a great job?
Rachel: I don't know. Who would I have to sleep with?
Chandler: Me.
Rachel: Why would I have to sleep with you?
Chandler: It's my game. You want the job or not?
Rachel: Joey, would you slow down? They're not gonna be sold out of papers at one o'clock in the morning.
Joey: I'm excited! I've never gotten reviewed before.
Monica: You were so amazing as the king. I was really impressed, I was.
Phoebe: Although, you know what? You might want to consider wearing underwear next time. Yeah, because when you sat down on your throne you could kind of see your... royal subject.
Phoebe: Russ is Ross. Russ, Ross...
Rachel: Steve, sleeve.
Phoebe: Okay, no one is named sleeve.
Chandler: You know, I remember my father... all dressed up in the red suit, with the big black boots and the leather belt. Sneaking around downstairs, he didn't want anybody to see him, but he'd be drunk so he'd stumble, crash into something and wake everybody up.
Rachel: That doesn't sound like a very merry Christmas.
Chandler: Who said anything about Christmas?
Rachel: Did you just break the radiator?
Ross: No, I was just turning the knob and, uh, here it is.
Joey: Rach, these are for you.
Rachel: Wiper blades. I don't even have a car.
Joey: No, but with this new car smell, you'll think you do.
Ross: Hey, Rach, you know what? I think I know what will make you feel better. How about you make a list about me.
Rachel: What? Forget it Ross, no. I am not gonna stand here and make a list of...
Ross: Come on Rachel.
Rachel: Okay, you're whiny, you are, you're obsessive, you are insecure, you're, you're gutless, you know? You don't ever, you don't just sort of seize the day, you know? You like me for what, a year, you didn't do anything about it. And, uh, oh, you wear too much of that gel in your hair.
Mr. Treeger: So, uh, is this mistletoe?
Rachel: Huh-huh, no.. no, uh, that, that is basil.
Mr. Treeger: Ah, if it was mistletoe, I was gonna kiss you.
Rachel: Yeah, no, it's still basil.
(To Ross) Nice seizing... gel boy.
Monica: (Answering the phone) Hello?
Ross: Hi.
Rachel: (To Monica) Is that him again? Tell him I'd come to the phone, but my ankles are weighing me down.
Rachel: Ross kissed me.
Phoebe: No!
Monica: Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!!
Rachel: It's unbelievable.
Monica: Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!!
Phoebe: Ok, alright we wanna hear everything. Monica, get the wine and unplug the phone. Rachel, does this end well or do we need tissues?
Rachel: Ohhh it ended very well.
Monica: Do not start without me! Do not start without me!!
Phoebe: Alright, let's hear about the kiss. Was it like...was it like, a soft brush against your lips or was it like a, y'know, "I gotta have you now" kinda thing?
Rachel: Well, at first it was really intense, y'know, and then...oh god, and then we just sorta sunk into it...
Phoebe: Ohh, so, ok, was he like holding you or were is hands like, on your back?
Rachel: No, actually first they were--they started out on my waist... and then they slid up, and then they were in my hair...
Phoebe & Monica: Ohhh...
(Scene changes from the girls' apartment to the guys' in which they are eating pizza around the foosball table)
Ross: And then I, and then I kissed her.
Joey: Tongue?
Ross: Yeah.
Joey: Cool.
Rachel: Ross, Chandler wrote something about me on his computer and he won't let me see.
Ross: He won't? (Realizes why) He won't!
