Rachel Green Quotes
Rachel: Oh, Phoebe, are you still on hold? I was supposed to call my Dad back like two hours ago.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, he clipped on. He said call him as soon as you get a chance, he's at Flimby's.
Rachel: What's Flimby's?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, that's the word I use when I can't remember the real thing.
Joey: Uh, you guys this is, this is Kate's understudy, Lauren.
Rachel: Oh, hi!
Rachel: Hey. Gosh, you look so familiar.
Lauren: Oh, yeah! I, I ran into you in the hallway in your building. It was right after I slept with Joey. He dumped me the next day.
Joey: Uh, listen I gotta double check for tickets tonight. Who, who got what?
Chandler, Phoebe & Rachel: I had one.
Monica: I need two. I'm bringing Pete. My boyfriend. I have a boyfriend now!
Joey: Two it is. Ross, how about you?
Ross: Uh, yeah, I, ah, I also need two.
Monica: Really? Who's number two?
Chandler: Who's number two? One of the more difficult games sewer workers play.
Ross: Uh, no, it's, it's just this person.
Phoebe: Like a date type person?
Ross: Yeah, kinda. It's this woman from work. I hope that won't be too weird. Will it, Rach?
Rachel: No. No, not at all, not at all. I actually was gonna bring someone myself, so...
Joey: But you said one.
Rachel: I meant, me plus one!
Joey: Okay. (to Phoebe and Chandler) Did, ah, you guys mean you plus one?
Rachel: You can either go or help me.
Ross: Okay, I'll go.
Rachel: Okay, but before you go, can you help me?
Monica: Can you believe he just offered me a restaurant?
Rachel: What a bitch. I'm gonna kick his ass.
Ross: (About Rachel's makeup) Okay, there you go.
Rachel: (Looks in the mirror) Sure. Sure, I'll just sit next to the transsexual from purchasing.
Ross: Rach, you know, I can see you naked anytime I want.
Ross: All I have to do is close my eyes. See? (Ross closes his eyes) Woo-hoo!
Rachel: Ross, stop that!
Ross: I'm sorry.
Rachel: Come on! I don't want you thinking of me like that anymore.
Ross: Uh, sorry. Nothing you can do about it. It's one of my, uh, rights as the ex-boyfriend. (Ross closes his eyes again) Oh yeah!
Rachel: Stop it! Cut it out! Cut it out!
Ross: Okay, okay. I'm sorry. It will never happen-- (Closes eyes again) Uh oh. Wait a minute! Wait, wait. Now there are a hundred of you, and I'm the king!
Rachel: Okay, you'd tell me the truth, right?
Ross: Rach, you can't look fat in an x-ray.
Ross: (Entering the apartment wearing a white suit with a little red bow tie) Hey, you guys! Guess what?
Rachel: Got a job on a river boat?
Ross: You know what? I didn't wear this suit for a year because you hated it. Well, guess what? You're not my girlfriend anymore, so...
Rachel: Oh I see, so this suit is making a point.
Rachel: Now that you're on you're own, you're free to look as stupid as you like.
Chandler: (To Ross) How'd the thing go tonight, Ross?
Ross: Oh, it was, nah, well...
Rachel: What thing? What is this thing?
Ross: I was kinda supposed to be on TV tonight for The Discovery Channel.
Rachel: Oh, my God!
Rachel: Ross, why didn't you tell me that?
Ross: Eh, 'cause I knew that if I told you, you'd make me go, and I knew you needed someone to be with you tonight. Come on. Come on.
Rachel: I cannot believe you.
Rachel: That is the sweetest thing, I just... (they stare at each other)
Ross: (breaking the silence) You should get some sleep.
Chandler: I'm telling ya, Joanna's got it all wrong. Okay? All I said was, "This was fun. Let's do it again sometime. I'll give you a call."
Rachel: Oh, gee. I wonder why she thinks you're going to call her?
Chandler: That's what you say at the end of a date.
Rachel: You can't just say, "Nice to meet you. Good night?"
Chandler: To her face?
Monica: Come on Rach. When a guy says he's going to call, it doesn't mean he's going to call. This never happened to you?
Rachel: Well, they always called.
Monica: Hm, bite me.