Kitty (to Eric): Foreplay is very important.
Red: Oh, no it's not.
Kitty (to Red): Yes, it is.

Red: Damn good thing I went with him. He wanted to buy a leisure suit.
Eric: Come on, Dad. Leisure suits are cool. Everybody wears them.
Red: Leisure suits are for dumbasses. Believe me.
(Bob walks in wearing a leisure suit)

Red: We're going to kill each other.
Kitty: Well, fine. Kill each other. Just do it together.

I can't be friends with Eric. He's too... twitchy.

Without rules, we might as well all be up in a tree, flinging our crap at each other.

Responsible people don't go around getting their nipples twisted.

Red: You were screwing around. You backed into a hydrant. I can see the paint marks!
Eric: No! And by no I mean exactly. But it wasn't my fault sir, Kelso was giving me a...
Red: A what?
Eric: Kelso was giving me a purple-nurple. It's when you grab someone's nipple through their shirt and twist it really hard... until it becomes purple.

Red: I want you to pick out this year's tree. And whatever you don't spend, you can use for your party.
Eric: Look, Dad, you know how much I hate haggling with those tree...
Red: Haggling is part of being an adult. Here's 40 dollars.
Eric: I want 50.
Red: Knock it off!

Eric, I love your grandmother very, very much. I just can't talk to her or spend any time with her.

(Donna leaves after finding out that Eric kissed Laurie's friend, Kate)
Kelso: I guess Donna didn't take it very well.
Red: Take what well?
Kelso: Eric made out with Kate.
Red: Anything else?
Fez: Your son is a whore!

Red: Forman, party of two.
Hostess: Okey dokey, that'll be about two hours.
Red: Here's twenty bucks.
Hostess: Okay, we'll have something in fifteen minutes.
Red: You don't want this place to burn down twice do you?
Hostess: Okay, we have something right now.
Red: I thought so. Well, it looks like it's our lucky night.

Red: Kelso, stop saying "porno."
Kelso: I didn't say it, Mr. Forman, Fez did.
Fez: You are a bitch.

That 70's Show Quotes

Eric: If my dad catches me copping beers he'll kill me.
Hyde: I'm willing to take that risk.

Kitty: Well, the kids are off. I wonder where they went.
Red: Out of town.
Kitty: How do you know?
Red: I told them not to.