Richard: (about Trix's boyfriend) Do you really think he was wearing a track suit? Well, I wonder if he was wearing Nikes also.
Lorelai: 'Just do it' takes on a whole new meaning doesn't it?

Emily: That's a camera?
Lorelai: That's a camera.
Richard: It looks like a toy.

Emily: Richard, are you serious about this?
Richard: As a heart attack.

(Lorelai is sitting on the couch reading as Rory walks through the front door. The phone is ringing)
Lorelai: Agh!
Rory: Hey.
Lorelai: Gah!
Rory: Mom! (answers the phone) Hello? (hangs up) That ringing is not in your head, you know.
Lorelai: Uh, you've gotta read this Motley Crue book. I swear, you get to the point where Ozzy Osbourne snorts a row of ants and you think, it cannot get any grosser, and then you turn the page and oh, hello, yes it can! It's excellent!
Rory: Why didn't you answer the phone?
Lorelai: Because I firmly believe that once you've experienced something five thousand times, you need to move on.
Rory: What are you talking about?
Lorelai: I knew who it was.
Rory: Who was it?
Lorelai: The same person who's called the machine so many times now that I actually heard it sigh.
Rory: Dean?
Lorelai: Dean the determined.
Rory: Oh man.
(phone rings again)
Lorelai: Five bucks says I know who that is.
Rory: (answers the phone) Hello?
Richard: Rory, it's your grandfather.
Rory: Oh, hey Grandpa.
Lorelai: He did that on purpose.

Richard: What makes you think you can get a young person to spend good money on something that they can get "for free", or at least at a lower cost?
Paris: Because I know one thing about the modern teenager.
Richard: And what is that?
Paris: That you can get them to buy anything as long as it comes in a leopard print.
Louise: True.
Madeline: Very True.

Richard: I paid Yale a great deal of money. Getting Rory in would be a breeze.
Lorelai: We don't like breezes, they mess up our hair.

Richard: I always wake up at 5:30 in the morning.
Lorelai: Wow. Why?
Richard: Well, I've been doing it for as long as I remember.
Lorelai: Be bold, Dad. Wake up at quarter to six one day.

Richard: Who's going to help Rory get into Harvard?
Lorelai: Reese Witherspoon.

Richard: How tall are you, anyway?
Dean: Why, you want to dance?
Richard: No, thank you. (thinks about it) But I appreciate the offer though.

I am an annoyance to my wife and a burden to my daughter. I suddenly know what it's like to be obsolete.

(Lorelai rushes through the front door followed by Richard)
Lorelai: Rory, we're home!
Richard: Next time, stop the car completely before you get out.
Lorelai: Rory, for the love of God, be home!
Rory: I'm here, sorry! I was on the phone. How was your... (Lorelai wraps Rory in her arms and hugs her very tightly) Ooh, okay.
Lorelai: I don't think I've ever loved you quite as much as I love you right now.
Rory: Ah, ribs cracking, organs crushing.
Lorelai: Yeah, well, love hurts.

Lorelai: So, Dad, how's retired life treating you?
Richard: Well, fascinating actually! I find myself noticing things, everyday things that I must've witnessed a hundred times before and just walked right pass. Like yesterday your mother moved a vase, the one in the hall, and see didn't do it in front of me
Lorelai: No, no! 'Cause nice girls never move vases in front of men.
Richard: (ignoring Lorelai's comment) and she only moved it a little, but as I passed it by I noticed it had been moved!
Rory: Impressive!
Richard: And everyday is a new discovery! Your mother changed her hair, or she wore shoes that didn't match her purse!
Emily: Richard!
Richard: Last Thursday!
Emily: Oh, for heaven's sake!

Gilmore Girls Quotes

(about the pants she's bought for Luke) I don't know what this fabric is, but I think I want to have its baby.

Lorelai

(to Rory) You can use your mother's old golf clubs. They're upstairs gathering dust along with the rest of her potential.

Emily