Richard Gilmore Quotes
(On the phone) Oh this is getting ridiculous, Aaron. I will not continue to have these conversations with a child. Yes, he is a child! Well when he's worked thirty years for the company, that's when he's not a child and until then, I don't care what his opinions are. Aaron are you listening to me?! Good, because I'm hanging up on you now and I wanted to make sure that you heard it! What a moron!
Emily: Well I just don't understand why you waited so late to call! Are you sure? Fine! Alright, yes! Goodbye (hangs up the phone).
Richard: What's the problem, Emily?
Emily: The problem is, that apparently Florence could not get here because of the storm.
Richard: Florence?
Emily: Our cook.
Richard: Ah. Well, we'll just have to go out then.
Emily: Please, Richard pay attention. We can't go out, it's miserable out there.
Richard: Well we'll figure something out dear.
Emily: What?! What will we figure out? I hate the damn snow!
Richard: Emily, calm down.
Emily: This is a serious problem. These Friday night dinners are the only proper food that child eats all week.
Richard: (Calls out to Rory who's sitting in the dining room) Rory? Are you in any way malnurished or in need of some international relief organization to recrute a celebrity to raise money on your account?
Rory: I'm good.
Richard: She's good, Emily.
Emily: Your sense of humor rears its ugly head at the oddest of times, Richard.
Richard: I'm not the mastermind behind some great scheme to spoil your dinner plans and I don't care to be treated as such.
Emily: So you're fine with having no dinner tonight, is that it?
Richard: I certainly am not.
Rory: (enters from the dining room) How 'bout I check the fridge? I'm sure there's something in there we could whip up.
Emily: Whip up? (says it like it's a new concept)
Rory: Yeah, come on. It'll be fun, I promise.
Emily: Well come on Mr.-We'll-Figure-It-Out! (they're all standing in front of the refridgerator) Nothing!
Richard: Not a blessed thing.
Rory: There's frozen pizza!
Emily: How in the world did that get there?
Rory: Maybe you bought it and forgot about it.
Emily: I have never bought frozen pizza, it must belong to Anna.
Richard: The maid?
Emily: Yes.
Richard: Ah, got one!
Emily: (Rory pulls the pizza out) What are you doing?
Rory: I'm gonna make it.
Emily: Oh Rory, you're not serious.
Richard: That hardly looks like dinner.
Emily: I agree. Rory, that's food you eat a carnival, or in a Turkish prison.
Rory: I promise you're gonna love it.
Emily: But-
Rory: Listen. Just leave it up to me. You guys go back into the living room and I'll call you when it's ready. (Emily and Richard both give in and get ready to leave) Hey Grandma.
Emily: (she and Richard both turn around) Yes?
Rory: What are the odds of you knowing where a cookie sheet would be?
Richard: I'd say very slim (Emily gives him a death glare).
Rory: Okay, never mind. I'll find it.
Emily: (looks at Richard before they leave) Very slim? Thank you for that.
Emily: There you are!
Rory: I think the phones went dead.
Emily: It's probably just this horrible storm. You must come downstairs immediately.
Rory: What's wrong?
Emily: (Says in a serious, panicked tone) The stove is buzzing!
Rory: It's just the timer, Grandma.
Emily: I know it's the timer, Rory. What I don't know is where it's located or how to turn it off!
Rory: But I really need to call Lane back.
Emily: There's nothing you can do now, the phones will come back on eventually, now please come downstairs and help me stop the buzzing!
Rory: But-
Richard: (calls from downstairs) Emily, for Heaven's sake, get down here!
Rory: Okay.
(Emily is silent in the car)
Richard: Emily?
Emily: She's right. I don't know my daughter at all.
Richard: Rory! Who's your friend?
Rory: I don't know, but this is Tristan.
(to Rory after Gloria drives away in her golf cart) The most odious woman alive.
Rory: Is it hard to become a member here?
Richard: Everyone has to go through a thorough screening process.
Rory: Kind of like the FBI?
Richard: We're much more thorough than that.
Lorelai: I'm sorry. Dad, how do you mix up Anton and Sophia?
Richard: What do you mean?
Lorelai: Well, one is a man and one is a woman.
Richard: And your point being?
Lorelai: That one is a man and one is a woman.
Richard: I have a lot to do in a day, Lorelai. I don't have time to keep up with the multitudes of people that your mother employs.
Lorelai: But one is a man and one is a woman.
Richard: Lorelai the First.
Rory: I thought Mom was the first.
Richard: No, no.
Emily: Not in the name.
Lorelai: No, but in so many other things, I was a regular Trailblazer. (to Emily) Just finishing your thought, Mom.
Richard: Now, what do you know about golf?
Rory: That it's a good walk spoiled.
Rory: She caught him in the pool house with the tennis pro, not the riding instructor.
Richard: I had no idea.
Rory: That committee of yours is not looking at people as much as you think.
Richard: Oh, why would they? From what you've told me, they're all involved in one nefarious activity after another.
Rory: It's a conspiracy.
Richard: It's Peyton Place. Is there more?
Rory: Can you handle it?
Richard: Oh, I'll steel myself.
Rory: Okay, Mr. Neville likes all things frilly.
Richard: Good God, he's my broker.
Rory: I don't think one will affect the other.
Rory: So, Grandpa, how's the insurance biz?
Richard: Oh, people die, we pay. People crash cars, we pay. People lose a foot, we pay.
Lorelai: Well, at least you have your new slogan.
