Barney [to random girl]: Hey.
Robin: Oh, he's not saying hello, he's just telling you what he feeds his horses. Oh man, I could sit here and make "you look like a farmer" jokes all night. Challenge accepted.

Ted: You know how everyone has that guy or girl that no matter what happens, you know will be perfect for you.
Marshall: Lily.
Robin: Mike Shacks.
Barney: That girl over there.

Robin: Seriously, you take it.
Ted: You sure?
Robin: Slapsolutely.

Ted: This slap was supposed to be a joyous gift. We've let it come between us.
Robin: Oh my God, you're right. This once pure fruit has turned into a poison slapple.

Last year you got left at the alter, you lost your job. You've come such a long way from then. I'm so proud of you, Ted. You get to slap someone in the face as hard as you can.

That slap is mine Mosby. I've never slapped Barney before... above the waist.

Ted: You slept with one of my best friends.
Robin: What? You said you were okay with that!
Ted: Well I'm not.
Robin: Why didn't you say something at the time?
Ted: Because... I'm still in love with you.
Robin: Do you really want to slap Barney so bad that you would lie about being in love with me?
Ted: I really want to slap him, okay?

Ted: Robin, you should get the slap, you're a great slapper. In fact, I want to study slapping under your tutelage. I want to be your slaprentice.
Robin: Don't sell yourself short there, Teddy, you're a slapping rock star. Your name should be Eric Slapton.

Robin: You only have one slap left are you sure you want to use it today?
Marshall: I figured life is short, slape diem.

Robin: Look at me, I've sworn off relationships.
Marshall: She is so about to get married.
Ted: I gotta work on my toast.
Marshall: I gotta make sure my tux fits!
Robin: I will bang your heads together like coconuts.

Barney: See the blonde over there by the bar? Tizzarget acquizzired!
Robin: Barney, don't do this ...
Barney: Oh, give it a rest, pest.

Marshall: You know how many times I've gone looking for frozen waffles in the freezer but there are none?
Robin: Thousands?
Marshall: Millions.

HIMYM Quotes

You are the love of my life. Everything I have and everything I am is yours. Forever.


Whatever you do in this life, it's not legendary, unless your friends are there to see it.