Rory Gilmore: Any chance you could go faster?
Lorelai Gilmore: Yeah, you got a girl's future in that sack of yours. Santa...
Rory Gilmore: Thank you for adding the Santa.

Rory Gilmore: I gotta go, but call me if there's any news.
Lorelai Gilmore: You mean if Michel kills Babette, then Miss Partty, them himself, and then it's a bizarre murder, suicide.
Rory Gilmore: Amongst other things.

Paris Geller: I did tell my mother about having sex with Jamie and her only reaction was to talk about how my father hasn't pleased her in 15 years.
Rory Gilmore: Yikes!
Paris Geller: Like I couldn't tell.

Rory: Anything else you want to tell me?
Dean: (Pauses, confused) Corn's two for a dollar?
Rory: Jess has a black eye. Any idea where he got it?
Dean: That would be an extremely long list.

Lorelai: We want to do it cheap.
Emily: We'll pay.
Lorelai: No.
Rory: Grandma, it's going to be fun really.
Lorelai: Kids do it all the time.
Emily: Yes, but you're not a kid.

Lorelai: Tell Sherry to keep her legs crossed 'til I get there.
Rory: Does that work?
Lorelai: No. Bye.

Lorelai: If I clean up Hug-a-World, does that cancel out me not getting rid of the boxes?
Rory: I'll consider it a wash.
Lorelai: How about if I chase it and bring it back?
Rory: What?
Lorelai:: Hug-a-World would like to see the world.
Rory: It's moving.
Lorelai: There's something living there besides Canadians.

Rory: Which maid was it?
Emily: Gertha, the one from Hamburg, Germany.
Lorelai: Which one was she?
Rory: You remember. She was the one who you made all those Hamburg-hamburger jokes to.
Lorelai: God, I beat that dead horse.
Rory: With glee.
Emily: She was the clomper.
Lorelai: The clomper?
Emily: She'd be upstairs making the bed and it'd sound like a Munich beer hall rally.
Lorelai: That's why you fired her?
Emily: Yes.
Lorelai: Because she made noise when she walked?
Emily: Yes.

Fran Westin: So that's a four foot chocolate cake with individual vanilla cupcakes on top spelling out Happy 16th Birthday, Lorelai?
Rory Gilmore: That's right.
Fran Westin: Would you like butter cream or whip cream frosting on that?
Rory Gilmore: Can you do both?
Fran Westin: That's alot of frosting.
Rory Gilmore: I know. But it's my mom's favorite part. Once we tried to make a cake entirely out of frosting, which turned out to be better in theory than in actual execution.
Fran Westin: Well, both frostings it is, then.

Rory: Hey, can you stash this at your house till the party? It's just favors and stuff.
Lane: Ironic, isn't it? You having to hide stuff at my house for a change.
Rory: Life has come full circle.

Lorelai: I totally suck at buying my father gifts. Especially for his birthday.
Rory: He'll like whatever you get him.
Lorelai: If I slip him a Quaalude, he'll like whatever I get him.

Paris: There was a ton of presents. I mean hundreds of presents. I'm looking at this mound of gifts and I'm thinking "8 days of Hanukkah", who was the skin flint that thought up that deal?
Rory: Don't the 8 days symbolize something?
Paris: Yes they symbolize 8 days of ripping off kids who can't have a Hanukkah bush.

Gilmore Girls Quotes

(about the pants she's bought for Luke) I don't know what this fabric is, but I think I want to have its baby.

Lorelai

(to Rory) You can use your mother's old golf clubs. They're upstairs gathering dust along with the rest of her potential.

Emily