Ross Geller Quotes
Mrs. Bing: He's not a hero. You know who our hero is?
Ross: The guy on the cover with his nipples showing?
Joey: You don't think my mom's sexy?
Ross: Well, not in the same way...
Joey: I'll have you know that Gloria Tribbiani was a handsome woman in her day, alright? You think it's easy giving birth to seven children?
Ross: Okay, I think we're getting into a weird area here...
Joey: You broke the code!
Ross: What code?
Joey: You don't kiss your friend's mom! Sisters are okay, maybe a hot-looking aunt, but not a mom. Never a mom!
Rachel: What're you guys doing out here?
Ross: Well, not playing raquetball!
Joey: He forgot to leave his grip size!
Ross: He didn't get the goggles!
Rachel: Well,sounds like you two have issues.
Rachel: Pheebs, I can't believe he hasn't kissed you yet. I mean God, by my sixth date with Paolo, he had already named both my breasts! ...Ooh. Did I just share too much?
Ross: Just a smidge.
Ross: Par-tay! (Ross enters Monica's party with Marcel on his shoulders)
Monica: That thing is not coming in here.
Ross: That thing? This is how you greet guests at a party? Let me ask you something, if I showed up here with my new girlfriend, she wouldn't be welcome in your home?
Monica: I'm guessing your new girlfriend wouldn't urinate on my coffee table.
Ross: Hey, he was more embarrassed by that than anybody. And for him to have the courage to walk back in here like nothing happened...
Monica: Do you always have to bring him here?
Ross: Look, I didn't wanna leave him alone. All right? We ... we had our first fight this morning. I think it has to do with my working late. I said some things that I didn't mean, and he threw some feces ...
Chandler: You know, if you're gonna work late I could look in on him for you.
Ross: Oh, that'd be great! Okay, but if you do, make sure it seems like you're there to see him, okay, and you're not, like, doing it as a favor to me.
Chandler: Okay, but if he asks, I'm not going to lie.
Ross: That would be Marcel. You wanna say hi?
Monica: No. No, I don't.
Rachel: Oh, he is precious! Where did you get him?
Ross: My friend, Bethel, rescued him from some lab.
Phoebe: That is so cruel! Why? Why would a parent name their child Bethel?
Ross: It's been kinda quiet since Carol left, so...
Monica: Why don't you just get a roommate?
Ross: Nah, I dunno ... I think you reach a certain age, having a roommate is kinda pathet- (Realizes) ... sorry, that's, that's "pathet", which is Sanskrit for "really cool way to live".
(Talking to Carol's stomach) And everyone's telling me, you gotta pick a major, you gotta pick a major. So, on a dare, I picked paleontology. And you have no idea what I'm saying, because, let's face it, you're a fetus. You're just happy you don't have gills anymore.
Chandler: Alright I'd like to propose a toast, a little toast here. Ding, ding! I know this isn't exactly the kind of Thanksgiving that all of you planned, but for me, this has been really great. You know, I think because it didn't involve divorce or projectile vomiting. Anyway I was just thinking, I mean, if you had gone to Vail or if you guys had been with your family or if you didn't have syphilis and stuff ... we wouldn't be all together you know, so I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm very thankful that all your Thanksgivings sucked.
Everyone Else: That's so sweet!
Ross: And hey, here's to a lousy Christmas!
Rachel: And a crappy new year.
Chandler: Here, Here!
(Singing to Carol's stomach) Hey, hey, I'm your daddy. I'm the one without any breasts.
