Frankly, this is less thrilling than you advertised and possibly wrong.

Jane: If Director Bertram wanted a CBi presence to jump off a cliff would you and your CBI presence jump off that cliff?
Lisbon: If there was overtime, sure.

Jane: Wouldn't that be spoiling the fun?
Lisbon: For you. Spoiling the fun for you.
Jane: That's the fun that matters.

Jane: Thought I was losing my touch there for a second.
Lisbon: God forbid.

Lisbon: Are you sure about this?
Jane: Are you ever going to tire of asking me that?

When aliens do come I hope they eat you.

Lisbon: Who do you think did it?
Jane: Jabba the Hut.
Lisbon: Seriously.
Jane: Ming the Merciless?
Lisbon: OK.
Jane: Alf?

Lisbon: Swear on your life?
Jane: On your life even.

La Roche: Lisbon may I speak with you.
Lisbon: We really need to get you a bell.

Jane: Did you know that Nevada is both the marriage and divorce capital of the nation?
Lisbon: They should put that on a license plate.

Lisbon: Sweetie, it's all right. We're with the CBI.
Jane: I know it sounds made up but we have a website and everything.

Jane: So you took the whole Santa revelation badly.
Lisbon: Crushed my heart like a cigarette.

The Mentalist Quotes

Jane: I was hoping to dazzle you all with my uncanny detective skills, but you forced me, you forced me to reveal the humdrum facts and point out that you have blood on your shoes, Heather.
Lisbon: Can you step out of your shoes ma'am?
Jane: Stop the presses! That's the phrase right, stop the presses? Always wanted to say that.

Patrick: You don't like the way I drive, you despise it.
Teresa: You drive way too fast.
Patrick: I drive just fast enough. You hate not being the one in control and yet you're willing to overcome your irrational fears to cheer me up. That's a beautiful thing, Lisbon. Thank you, I'd love to drive.
Teresa: Never mind.