Jane: I'm touched that you would risk your career over me. That means a lot to me.
Lisbon: If you're right, and I'm not saying you are, it would mean I broke the trust of somebody I respect and admire for your sake. If it is true, I would hope in the future you'd be a little bit more mature and responsible in your behavior.
Jane: I'm grateful and all that, but let's not go crazy here.
Lisbon: I should have let you rot in jail.

Lisbon: Look, I hope we can get you out of this mess. But it's also true that I do hope that you learn a lesson from this. There are real boundaries in life. These are real prison walls.
Jane: (almost whispering) Only in your mind, Lisbon. Only in your mind.

Lisbon: How did it go with Bosco?
Jane: Good. It was, uh, it was very good. We had a frank exchange of views.
Lisbon: So he's gonna keep us in the loop?
Jane: No.
Lisbon: No?
Jane: Wouldn't direct me to the bathroom if my ass was on fire.

Jane: Can I please continue working with you?
Lisbon: I thought you were quitting.
Jane: You know I didn't mean that.
Lisbon: So the job is worth wile, is it?
Jane: Uh, it's not that. I mean, it' not that at all. It's just... I have nothing else to do.
Lisbon: No jokes. From now, there have to be boundaries.
Jane: Agreed.
Lisbon: I need to know that you can do your work and be effective without creating a mess that I have to clean up.
Jane: No mess, I swear.
Lisbon: On that basis, you can remain with the unit.
Jane: Thank you.

Cho: How is he?
Lisbon: Guess what, he's a bad patient.
Cho: Who would've thought.
Jane: I'm not a bad patient. She's a bad visitor.

Jane: Oh, please don't look at each other like that.
Lisbon: Like what? You can't see.
Jane: I can feel. I can feel your pity.

Kimball: Look, a goat. Goats are signs of Satan.
Teresa: So petting zoos are, like, gateways to hell?
Kimball: Pretty much.

(To Grace on the phone) Things are getting weird, we're off to see a witch.

Patrick: Let's keep it casual to start with Sophie. Let her relax. If she gets her guard up, we'll get nothing from her.
Teresa: You're very combative all of a sudden.
Patrick: Yeah, if she is guilty, she lied to me and I believed it. She fooled me.
Teresa: The ultimate sin.
Patrick: Yes it is.

Teresa: We have agents at your house right now with a search warrant.
Chancellor Stern: Inadmissible.
Teresa: Yes. I'd hate to be a State's Attorney. Jane's always pulling crap like this on them but they always win.

Teresa: Aw. Jane kissed a girl.
Patrick: What? Yeah on the cheek.
Teresa: Still counts.

Patrick: You don't like the way I drive, you despise it.
Teresa: You drive way too fast.
Patrick: I drive just fast enough. You hate not being the one in control and yet you're willing to overcome your irrational fears to cheer me up. That's a beautiful thing, Lisbon. Thank you, I'd love to drive.
Teresa: Never mind.

The Mentalist Quotes

Lisbon: How are the kids?
Rigsby: Sticky mostly.

Jane: You look marginally rested.
Lisbon: I was hoping to actually get to REM sleep tonight.