Todd: I wanna be with you on your birthday. I wanna start clean with you. I wanna be part of your life again.
Samantha: It's my birthday?!

Samantha: No, I can't, I can't do it like this...
Todd: Sure you can, just hold under the civil war and put your foot on the Korean conflict.

Samantha: Thank you for helping me find this book on tanks.
Todd: No, tank you.

A lot of work. All the photography, you know. I mean, enough with the weddings already. Take the money and buy a house people.

Todd: So... you wanna throw darts?
Sam: Okay. At what?

Todd: What are you doing? Don't you know you're not supposed to put metal in the microwave?
Samantha: Well I do now! I think that something that important they'd got it written on there or something.

Sam: Is it our song?
Todd: No. We, we didn't have a song. Every time I suggested one, you laughed at me and asked me if I was on my period.

Samantha: No. No, come on, you have to go. It's a birthday party. It'll be, you know, fun.
Todd: Even though you regard birthdays as childish ploys for harvesting attention and gifts?
Samantha: Oh, when did I say that?!
Todd: When you forgot mine.

Sam: Okay, I am going to live with you, but in a separate room, or on the couch, and I am not going to have sex with you. So you can just get that out of your mind, mister.
Girl(from other room): Dave, who is that woman?
Dave: No idea.
Todd: Hey, Sam, it's this way.

Samantha Who? Quotes

Sam: Couple of good things about being in a coma: no fattening food, lots of rest, they sponge you down every day. It's like a spa. Bad things: my nose itches, I have something called the "Pina Colada Song" stuck in my head, and, oh yeah, sometimes I can hear what people in my room are saying.

Sam: Good things about amnesia: all new clothes, no re-runs. Bad: every minute is like that dream where you haven't been to class all year, and the test is now.