Set phasers to love me!

I've told Pierce a thousand times, I never wanted to meet Levar in person! I just wanted a picture! You can't disappoint a picture! I hate you Pierce! I hate you so much!

Me and Abed have an agreement. If one of us dies, we stage it to look like a suicide caused by the unjust cancellation of Firefly. We're gonna get that show back on the air buddy!

My third wish would be for a million wishes, but I'd just use them all on a million signed photos of LeVar Burton.

Nurse: Mr. Hawthorne is ready to commence his bequeathing.
Troy: Haha! Shouldn't you be telling that to an orderly?

Everytime I need to cheer up I just make fun of Pierce, but now it would just make me sadder. It's Gregory Hines all over again.

I wish I was a book. She could pick me up, flip through my pages. Make sure nobody drew wieners in me.

This is why I wanted to play Chutes and Ladders.

You are the AT&T of people.

Troy (to Britta)

Abed: Do you think bees eat their own honey?
Troy: I'm sure they've at least tasted it.

How come he gets a front stinger?

Are you sure my costume isn't on backwards? Somehow I felt more confident before.

Community Quotes

Why name your daughter Megan? Are you stocking up for a bitch shortage?


Jeff: You started having sex with Britta's ex-boyfriend!
Annie: What? We haven't even kissed.
Pierce: That doesn't mean you're not having sex.