Game of Thrones
Sundays 9:00 PM on HBOFavorite Tyrion Lannister Quotes
Tyrion: And how do a bear's balls taste?
Yoren: A bit chewy. What about you, milord. What's the strangest thing you've eaten?
Tyrion: Do Dornish girls count?
You won't be a prisoner after today, you'll be my wife.
Tyrion: Tell me, Lady Stark, when was the last time you saw your sister?
Catelyn: Five years ago.
Tyrion: She's changed. She was always a bit touched, but now, you might as well kill me here.
Catelyn: I am not a murderer Lannister.
Tyrion: Neither am I! I had nothing to do with the attempt on your son's life....What sort of an imbecile arms an assassin with his own blade?
Bronn: What will you do?
Tyrion: I suppose I'll have to kill the Mountain myself. Won't that make for a great song.
Bronn: I hope to hear them sing it one day.
Tyrion: I'm looking at you. Yes, you. You've got an interesting face. Very distinctive faces, all of them.
Grenn: What do you care about our faces?
Tyrion: I think they would look marvelous decorating spikes in King's Landing. Perhaps I'll write my sister, the queen, about them.
As impossible as it seems, there was once a time I was unaccustomed to wine.
Tyrion: A bastard boy with nothing to inherit, off to join the ancient order of the Night's Watch. Alongside his valiant brothers in arms.
Jon: The Night's Watch protects the realm from..
Tyrion: Ah, ah, yes, yes,against grumpkins and snarks and all the
other monsters your wet nurse warned you about. You're a smart boy, you don't believe that nonsense.
Anyway, don't despair, I'm a constant disappointment to my own father and I've learned to live with it. Here, your next tumble with Roz is on me. I'll try not to wear her out.
Tyrion: Come to see me off Greyjoy? Kind of you. Your master doesn't seem to like Lannisters.
Theon: He's not my master.
Tyrion: No, of course not. What happened here, where is Lady Stark, why didn't she receive me:
Theon: She wasn't feeling well.
Tyrion: She's not in Winterfell, is she? Where did she go?
Theon: My lady's whereabouts...
Tyrion: My lady? Your loyalty to your loyalty to your captors is touching. Tell me, how do you think Balon Greyjoy would feel knowing his only surviving son had turned lackey.
I didn't know your brother. He seemed like a good man, but I didn't know him. Your mother on the other hand, I admired her. She wanted to have me executed, but I admired her.
Tyrion: I must say I received a slighter warmer welcome on my last visit.
Robb: Any man of the Night's Watch is welcome at Winterfell.
Tyrion: Any man of the Night's Watch but not I, eh boy?
Robb: I'm not your boy, Lannister. I'm Lord of Winterfell while my father is away.
Tyrion: Then you might learn a Lord's courtesy.
Not this time. We'll be staying at the finest castles and inns. No one turns away a Lannister.