Charlie: D-minus? Didn't you read the Cliff Notes?
Jake: That was fifty pages!
Charlie: Unbelievable. Your kid's too lazy to cheat.
Alan: Has it occured to you that maybe he's too honest to cheat?
Jake: No, I'm lazy


Rating: 5.0 / 5.0 (1 Vote)
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Characters:
Charlie Harper, Alan Harper, Jake Harper
Episode:
Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 10: "The Salmon Under My Sweater"
Show:
Two and a Half Men
Related Quotes:
Charlie Harper Quotes, Alan Harper Quotes, Jake Harper Quotes, Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 10 Quotes, Two and a Half Men Quotes
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Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 10 Quotes

Alan: Ferrets?
Rose: Yeah, I have five of the toothy, little guys.
Alan: No-- no kidding. Five ferrets? Those are like, uh, long, furry rats, right?
Rose: Yup, and they're all named Charlie

Alan: Oh, are you, uh, starting that book report already?
Jake: Just making notes.
Alan: Good for you! What do you have so far?
Jake: Lord of the Flies is kind of like Survivor, but with kids.
Alan: Huh! That's, uh... that's an interesting analogy! Uh, what's your favorite part?
Jake: Um... when the first kid gets voted off the island?