Charlie: D-minus? Didn't you read the Cliff Notes?
Jake: That was fifty pages!
Charlie: Unbelievable. Your kid's too lazy to cheat.
Alan: Has it occured to you that maybe he's too honest to cheat?
Jake: No, I'm lazy


Rating: 5.0 / 5.0 (1 Vote)
Characters:
Charlie Harper, Alan Harper, Jake Harper
Episode:
Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 10: "The Salmon Under My Sweater"
Show:
Two and a Half Men
Related Quotes:
Charlie Harper Quotes, Alan Harper Quotes, Jake Harper Quotes, Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 10 Quotes, Two and a Half Men Quotes
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Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 10 Quotes

Alan: I assume you finished reading Lord of the Flies for your book report?
Jake: Mm-hm.
Alan: Oh, good. How did you like it?
Jake: I thought it was... a timeless American classic.
Alan: I see. So tell me, what is it about?
Jake: You mean the book?
Alan: Yeah, the book.
Jake: It's called Lord of the Flies, and it's about a really big fly that all the other flies pray to

Alan: Ferrets?
Rose: Yeah, I have five of the toothy, little guys.
Alan: No-- no kidding. Five ferrets? Those are like, uh, long, furry rats, right?
Rose: Yup, and they're all named Charlie