I don't know if you are who I think you might be, but if you are, this is what I'd say. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry that I didn't get a chance to know you or you get a chance to know me or your father. I gave you up for adoption not because I didn't want you or because you were any less loved. I was trying to keep you safe. I hope you know that. And maybe, maybe I should have had the courage to stand by you, but I thought I was being strong because it was the hardest thing I had ever done. To let go and know that I was going to miss your whole life but it turns out that this is the hardest thing, to see the outcome and how I failed you. I need you to know that I never forgot you and I thought, I felt, even recently that we were going to somehow be reunited. I wish I could have been there to ease your pain. Oh my god. This is so inadequate. I'm just so sorry. I'm so sorry. [sobs]

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