Quotes
Winners win and losers lose and alcoholics they just booze. They win at drinking, that's their thing but our thing's just winning. We're Brad and Jane let's start the game. Sup suckas?
Brad/Jane
I know you didn't want me at your little couples game night, but what you didn't count on was the extent of my loneliness.
Max
If we put a man on the moon, I'm pretty sure we could put a chicos in the clouds.
Alex
Dave: She has to read my energy in person. Don't you know how science works?
Alex: Hey hey, you know I don't.
This old priceless family heirloom that my hot fiancé's grandmother smuggled out of the old country. I mean I guess engagement ring is the acceptable nomenclature.
Penny
Oh no, do not lump me in with this bullcorn. Ghosts are real. Just like warlocks and doolas. I am on the fence about chupacabras, not saying they're real, not saying they're not. They're real.
Alex
Andy: What's the mouse's name?
Guy: It really doesn't make sense to name the mice. They're kind of like cannon fodder.
Phyllis: Her hair looks beautiful.
Andy: Yeah we get it Phyllis. She looks like a freakin' movie star!
Nothing to be alarmed about, it's just a man pointing a bull tranquilizer as a coworker.
Dwight
I wanted to be my generation's Lisa Loeb.
Andy
Our office has an unusually large number of unusually large people.
Oscar
Didn't you get the memo? It's stairmageddon.
Erin