Quotes
Kathryn: Look, I have to believe, after everything we've been through, that things happen for a reason.
John: I should have pushed for you.
Kathryn: The party wasn't behind me.
John: Well, we should have done it anyway.
Daphne and Bay do not know the difference between a few drinks and being a drunk. I cannot go home. You're stuck with me.
Regina
Why couldn't he just occupy his high school like everyone else in this family?
John
No. I'm just saying that not sleeping with your girlfriend until you're married is one way to find yourself engaged.
John
Daphne: We didn't take over the school so that a hearing person could talk for us.
Bay: No. You took it over so that people like me could never go there again.
Lois: It's like our privates were shaking hands after a successful business deal in a swamp!
Peter: To me, it just proves that we're truly meant to be together.
Lois: I love you, Peter.
Peter: I love you too, Lois. [beat] By the way, you may have to become a full-on prostitute because our phone bill was $7,000.
Peter: Hey Joe, how often do you have sex with Bonnie?
Joe: Well, my HMO only pays for the equipment once a year, why?
Lois: Peter, can't you just use Sock Lois tonight?
Peter: No, Sock Lois doesn't feel authentic to me any more!
Alright, Lois, you know the drill. And whatever you do, do not mention computers or the internet. They cannot not know about it.
Lois' Supervisor
Cashier: This is a very nice set, you must be a phone whore.
Lois: You bet your sweet ass I am!
Lois: Now what are we going to do, we have no money!
Peter: Why it's okay, Lois, we have a wonderful family!
Lois: No we don't, there's Meg and Dummy and Big Head.
For Xerxes, every meal is a pageant.
Peter