Quotes
Brian, keys. Chris, beer. Meg, ugly!
Peter
Meg: Oh my god that's so disturbing.
Chris: I know, gross!
Brian: Yeah, my hearing's a lot better so I hear like, suction and stuff.
Okay, who replaced my glasses with forks? I mean, they're really good for seeing forks, but not for much else.
Peter
Brian: And somebody replaced Meg's sleeping pills with Alka-Seltzer.
Meg: People are going to miss me when I [long burp].
Brian: Alright, very funny, Stewie. You replaced my Jack Daniel's with flat Diet Coke.
Stewie: No I didn't! And you're noticing this at 8:20 in the morning? What has happened to your life? Do you need to talk?
What's going on, Mom's acting interesting like a 20-year-old!
Meg
Stewie: No, that's great, actually because, now anyone walking behind you will know you had 60 dollars.
Peter: Whoa, that is awesome, Lois! Your bum looks like an NBA star's arm! Except it's not paying someone to install a Playstation in a car.
Lois: You guys shouldn't have done this!
Stewie: Hey, any time you can celebrate the end of someone's periods.
Chris: Dad, how did you get Mom out of the house so we could decorate?
Peter: Well Chris, I constructed a very elaborate fake grocery store.
Nice throw, Casey Anthony.
Stewie
Oh, I wouldn't worry about it, Bonnie. I've put Stewie in the oven a bunch of times. As long as you come to your senses within 15 minutes, everything's fine.
Lois
Kent: Meg, please stop, I know your heart's in the right place, but...
Meg: Actually, it's not. It's a serious medical condition.
Dr. Hartman: [in flashback] Yeah, that's not supposed to be there, so she should always probably wear a hat.