I don't want to talk to old men who are pretending to be women and ex-wives.

Dennis

Dennis: A dead tooth.
Maureen: With a diamond in it.
Dennis: Put a diamond in anything that's dead and it's still dead.

It wafted over here. The dead tooth. It stinks.

Frank

Do not talk to me for the rest of the night and know that I won't be talking to you because you lower my stock.

Dennis [to Charlie and Mac]

For some reason homophobia is awesome to these guys.

Dee

Looks like the Rat got too much cheese.

Adriano [to Mac]

He called you dirt grub and made you eat spiders.

Dee [to Charlie]

Brad Fisher: It's not acne. It's hornet scars.
Dennis: I don't think I have any products that take care of hornet scars.

Dee: Baby got back.
Dennis: Sir Mix-A-Lot was not talking about women whose backs have recovered from horrific spinal disorders.

Black butts are good!

Frank

Propel me back into the mid-'90s when Dennis Reynolds was a golden god.

Dennis

Apparently our baby thinks sleep is for the weak.

Hodgins