All this crazy s#$t is going on, you know I got roommates in the hospital, I got f@#king fights, I got psychological talks that I'm having with people, and I got florist calling me telling me that they have deliveries of flowers for the girls. It's the last thing that I want to hear right now.

Vinny

[to Ron] Be honest all you want, but I just don't want anything to do with you ever again in my entire life.

Sam

Snooki: [on concussions] I used to get that all the time from cheerleading.
Vinny: You sure you didn't get that when you blacked out drunk and fell?
Snooki: Well that too.

Like he f#*king knocked himself out into the wall ... what the f@#k?!?

Vinny

The craziest thing is that, like, he's in the hospital and it wasn't even from the fight.

Vinny

I'm like, dude, I know you don't want to feel like a lowlife and you got your ass beat, but you need to go to the hospital to make sure you're f**king okay.

Snooki

I hit my head against a concrete wall ... it hurts.

Mike

Mike knocked himself out. I think Mike tried to commit suicide by running his head up against the wall.

Pauly

I don't think either of them can fight. I mean I know Mike used to take karate and Ronnie's got big muscles but whatever.

Pauly D

He didn't hurt me, there was not one scratch on my pretty face. All those muscles, didn't do s#!t to me.

Mike

[to girls, pointing at Ron] That's what happens when you take steroids.

Pauly D

Two guys, two girls. Seems like a party to me.

Mike