Caroline: Can’t you go to Deke’s place without me, I’m too down in the dumps.
Max: Then what better place to be than in the dumpster?

Ain’t no party like a Caroline party ‘cause a Caroline party don’t start.

Max

You get the weed. I‘ll get the other weed.

Deke

Caroline: Are the owner of this establishment?
Blarney Bill: I’m not even the owner of these pants!

Max: I thought you wanted to keep your skirt wearing on the low-low.
Earl: That’s before I discovered the sensation of a cool breeze circling my bag and my pipe.

Caroline: Max, I'm sorry if I rained on your parade today. Well, peed on it.
Max: Don't worry about it. Everything that means something to me gets peed on

Rest in pee, Caroline.

Max

Drunk Chick: Guys, I just threw up.
Caroline: And you're carrying it around like a baby chick?

But we worked so hard, I have so much green under my fingernails, it looks like I had really good sex with Shrek.

Caroline

I’ve hit some very low points today, but I’m not about to pee through a paper penis in public.

Caroline

Caroline: Max, we haven't been so busy since someone spray painted "free sex stuff" on the wall outside.
Max: And you said I'm not good at marketing

Caroline: I am such a bad judge of character.
Max: Of course you are, I'm your best friend.

2 Broke Girls Season 3 Quotes

Caroline: Well, there’s Nicholas. I was not prepared for this.
Max: Really? Cuz we spent the entire subway ride preparing you for this.

Earl: [Han walks in dressed in large snow suit] Still don’t know where Han is, but the new Bond villain just arrived.
Oleg: Now there’s an even bigger Octopussy in town.