Archer
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on FXArcher Season 2 Quotes
Because I told you to buy lemon curd, Woodhouse. Now what am I going to spread on my toast? Your tears?
Trinette: Wait a minute. You liar, this isn't a condom wrapper! It's from a friggin' candy bar.
Archer: So? Sometimes I like to treat myself.
Trinette: Well, sometimes I like ovulate.
Archer: Well, I have to sleep, so do it somewhere else.
Trinette: I'm retired.
Archer: Yeah, your 401(k) doing that well?
Trinette: I have a SEP, smart ass.
Cyril: Ever since Lana and I broke up, I take solace in food.
Archer: Well keep your chins up, all eleven of them.
What do you even do here? Sit on your ass and analyze data? Well I'm a field agent, Isaac Newton. I risk my life. So yeah, I do deserve the best space in the parking garage. Like it would kill you to roll fifty feet? The stupid thing's electric.
Malory: Sterling! Len! Either and or both? Where the hell are you? Len?
Barry: Do you know where he is?
Malory: Yes, I'm just screaming his name down the hall to celebrate that fact.
Cheryl: So, Krieger's a doctor.
Cyril: Not the medical kind!
Krieger: Not even the other kind... technically.
Archer: Why do we have so many damn dolls in here?
Pam: For sexual harassment complaints so people can non-verbally indicate where stuff happened on their bodies.
Archer: That takes like one doll.
Pam: Not if there's ever a gang rape. (fingers crossed)
Archer: Can you put it in a person's brain?
Krieger: It'd suffocate.
Archer: Not the rabbit, you idiot - the chip.
Krieger: Oh yes, absolutely.
Archer: Without killing the person?
Krieger: Oh... maybe?
Barry: Don't try anything stupid.
Archer: I don't have to try.... shit, whatever, move.
Just try to think about something else like there's no sink in there.
Gillette
Cheryl: You can't control a person's heart.
Krieger: You can with a little something I like to call a deep cycle marine battery... or LSD.
