Why would you want to work for these Ivy-League white-shoe DC pricks? That's not who we are! We're the outsiders, the scrappy underdogs! We're Delta House, the Dirty Dozen, the Rebel Alliance, the Commitments! We're the Bad News Freakin' Bears, and our Lupus is an openly gay cyborg dying of sepsis in a wheelbarrow!

Now's the perfect time. It's not like you haven't thought about it. Just crash the sub and kill them, Cyril.


Slater: Okay Gillette, now just slip it in, nice and easy.
Archer: Ugh. I mean, what about, "that's what she said", can we at least do that?

Slater: So, I saw you coming on to Archer.
Sklodowska: Look, I'm a sexual being. If that is shocking to you, so be it.
Slater: It's not, I was just gonna tell you that he's had the clap so many times it's more like applause.

Lana: Oh, so suddenly you don't have a death wish!
Archer: Lana, I've never had a deathwish, it's just that I don't believe that I personally even can die.

There's enough room in the world for science and miracles.

Dr. Sklodowska: ...we could just ask me, the woman who graduated from Harvard Medical School summa cum laude.
Archer: With a minor in Spanish Bragging.
Dr. Sklodowska: A, that was Latin.
Lana: He knows.

Lana: We're the size of a bacteria.
Dr. Sklodowska: Bacterium.
Lana: Thanks, Jill Nye.

Hawley: She seems like a normal baby weight.
Malory: Yes, and everyone deserves a trophy just for showing up, and everyone's Kickstarter has merit. Ugh.

Archer: Seriously, where do you keep the fruity drink powder? I'd even take Rootin' Tootin' Raspberry.
Lana: How noble.
Archer: Well, no, I'd still bitch about it. And I think I've earned that right!

Lana: His left foot?!
Archer: Well that's good.
Slater: How could that possibly be good?
Archer: Well, relative to Krieger's asshole...

And by the way, if I was a clone of Adolf goddamn Hitler, wouldn't I look like Adolf goddamn Hitler?!


Archer Season 6 Quotes

Ray: Is this Brett's blood?
Cheryl: Ugh no, just the same type. We had to fudge it a little on the stains, some of which actually were fudge
Pam: And some of which merely resembled it

Japanese Soldier: You cannot shirk your duties!
Archer: Yes, I can. I do it all the time