Archer: Who the shit is that? (after hearing a knock on the door)
Barry: Is it Barry? Does that mean Barry possibly literally froze his nuts off in the wheel well of a 747 so he can murder the shit-eating Archer?.....Yes it does other Barry. Oh yes

• Permalink: Is it Barry? Does that mean Barry possibly literally froze his nuts off in the wheel well of...
• Added: January 30, 2015

Krieger: That's what they said about Tesla's deathray! So this favor. Lana...wait Lana, what's this favor?!
Lana: (as she's running away) Just promise to use your powers for good.
Krieger: Hahahah, no

• Permalink: Hahahah, no
• Added: January 30, 2015

Look, I know you're bitter cause you people can't get married or whatever but All You Can Eat Prime Ribs!

Edie

• Permalink: Look, I know you're bitter cause you people can't get married or whatever but All You Can Eat...
• Added: January 30, 2015

Barry: Said the dumbwaiter. Get it Archer? As in you're dumb and you dress like a waiter?
Pam: Told ya!
Archer: Goddamnit Pam! This is exactly what a man should wear to a (wedding)

• Permalink: Said the dumbwaiter
• Added: January 30, 2015

Pam: I don't want a show up with a black eye.
Archer: Not a real diverse crowd?
Pam: Eye, idiot! Eye! Although no, not a lot of black guys in rural Wisconsin, and I don't want to sound racist but...
Archer: Power through it

• Permalink: Although no, not a lot of black guys in rural Wisconsin
• Added: January 30, 2015

What, Lana? Look at all the shit I had to pack. I don't know what I'm gonna be wearing for apres-montees. And Ray forgot the gum!

• Permalink: What, Lana? Look at all the shit I had to pack. I don't know what I'm gonna be wearing for...
• Added: January 22, 2015

Lana: [to Archer] So will your feelings be super hurt if I bang him?
Ray: [from off-screen] Yes!!

• Permalink: Yes!!
• Added: January 22, 2015

Crash: We head out at dawn
Archer: And that's AM?
Crash: As opposed to...?
Archer: PM Dawn?

• Permalink: PM Dawn?
• Added: January 22, 2015

Lana: So how did you get the name Crash?
Crash: Oh it's a long story about me saving the lives of 8 other climbers right after an avalance
Lana and Ray (in unison): Sploosh

• Permalink: Sploosh
• Added: January 22, 2015

Cheryl: What the stupid shit are you doing??
Cyril: You said you wanted watermelon.
Cheryl: Watermelon's red?
Cyril: Yes. How do you not know that?
Cheryl: Who am I? Charles Frederick Andress?

• Permalink: Who am I? Charles Frederick Andress?
• Added: January 22, 2015

Crash: I'm your guide, Crash McCarren. Um, I thought there were three of you.
Archer: One of us is weeping in the car.

• Permalink: One of us is weeping in the car.
• Added: January 22, 2015

Slater: Just Slater, it's a mononym like...
Malory: Jesus Christ!
Slater: Nope

• Permalink: Just Slater, it's a mononym like...
• Added: January 15, 2015