Lucille: I'll have the Ike and Tina tuna.
Waitress: Plate or platter?
Lucille: I don't understand the question, and I won't respond to it.

(to Michael) So, you didn't get any while you were in high school, and now you're not going to get any while George Michael's in high school.


Gentlemen, we do not wave our genitals at one another to make a point!

George Sr.

Jessie: Daddy lost his shot at happy and it's all your fault, Opie.
Narrator: Jessie had gone too far and she had best watch her mouth.

Jessie ... No, I was just saying your name as you walked away. I didn't ... I have no follow-up.


George Michael: He's my dad. I don't want to disappoint him.
Maeby: You and I are so different. It's like we're not even related.
George Michael: That would be amazing.

Lindsay: "Lindsay's a combative, entitled princess"? I should hire somebody to kick your ass for that.
Lucille: Save your money.
Lindsay: You're right. I'll do it myself.

Jessie: Buster.
Buster: Right here, ready to go, at your service, get me out there.
Jessie: I want you to stay in. People find you odd and alienating. You make them uneasy. Stay out of the spotlight.

Jessie: Hi, George Michael. Proud of yourself?
George Michael: Yeah, actually. I got a bum away from the stand without hurting his feelings. That was pretty sweet.
Jessie: No, I mean about your father. About denying him his chance to be happy?
Maeby: You're into that, too? I'm rubbing off on you, huh?

Jessie: I think it's best if you got a job.
Lindsay: Oh, come on! I'm a parent, I care about my daughter every bit as much as Michael cares about his son.
Maeby: What grade am I in?
Lindsay: What kind of job?

Narrator: Meanwhile, Gob was beginning his charity work at a local nursing home.
Gob: I'm going to need a volunteer for my next illusion: The Aztec Tomb.
Woman: A tomb?
Gob: Or box. Box is ... fine.

Jessie: (to photographer) Oh, good. Get one of Michael and me on a date. Thank you.
Michael: A date? This is a date now? I thought this was just business.
Jessie: Can't it be a little bit of both?

Arrested Development Season 1 Episode 11 Quotes

Michael: Look, George Michael, I want you to tell me how you feel, ok? I don't want you to worry so much about hurting my feelings.
George Michael: I didn't want to go to that school, and Jessie's a psycho.
Michael: It could've saved us a little bit of time.

Jessie: Well, George Michael, are you happy?
George Michael: Well ... I got a bum away from the stand without hurting his feelings. That was pretty sweet.