Michael: You seem more villainous than usual, Mom. Are you sober?
Lucille: Michael, it's 8 AM!
Michael: So, it's not that.

Taste the tears, Michael.

Gob

Michael: This here is way more important than me trying to find my father. Although, I was very close. I almost had Pop-pop in Reno.
George Michael: Me, too.

Michael: So, where did you get this kid?
Gob: Yeah, I guess I can tell you now. We were both waiting for our Dads at that garden where the little boy found the arm (Hands Michael the letter) Kid's amazing, though. It's almost like I wish he could be my Dad.
(Michael finishes reading the letter)
Michael: Ok, um, your Dad's not trying to find you. Your son is that kid. Your son ... you're the Dad.
(points out the letter to Gob)
Gob: I've made a huge tiny mistake.

Narrator: If Steve had a father, he would have warned him not to go into the woods with strange men, but he didn't.
Steve Holt: Sure, let's go!

Steve Holt: You look familiar.
Gob: I think that's because we actually kinda look alike.

(in prison) I'm innocent, Michael. I'm Oscar! Dot com.

Oscar

Gob: Well, I will tell you this, Michael. I don't have a son ...
Narrator: He does.
Gob: But if I ever do, I'm either gonna take him to the cabin in the woods. Or I'm gonna promise to take him and then not take him, but the one thing that I will never do is not tell him that I'm taking him to a cabin in the woods, and then not take him.
Narrator: Gob was growing up.

Lucille: Apparently, mood altering medication leads to street drugs. That's what this very handsome young doctor said on The Today Show.
Michael: That was Tom Cruise, the actor.
Lucille: They said he was some kind of scientist.

Michael: Maybe you can bring a date to the cabin.
Lucille: I don't want anybody to go inside that musty claptrap.
Michael: ... Oh, the cabin!

(Driving to the cabin to escape Buster's snoring, Lucille discovers he's asleep in the back seat)
Lucille: Ooh, come on!
Buster: Mother?
Lucille: What the hell are you doing back there?
Buster: I decided to sleep in the car so my snoring wouldn't bother you. And I left that recording of my snoring so you wouldn't know I'm gone.
Lucille: We're halfway to the cabin, I'm gonna drop you by this light.

(Tobias has just found a way to convince Lindsay that Kitty loves him)
Tobias: If this tableau I recreate, perhaps I can resnare my mate!
Narrator: Gee, why wouldn't she want him back?

Arrested Development Season 3 Episode 1 Quotes

Taste the tears, Michael.

Gob

Gob: (embracing Michael) Taste the happy, Michael. Taste it.
Michael: It tastes kind of like sad.