George, Sr.: Tonight? No, it's Yontif, the first night of Yom Kippur.
Michael: Dad, that's just one night, and it's back in September. That's okay. You've only been a Jew for about two days.

Michael: Get that the hell out of this house! What's the matter with you?
Gob: Maybe you should save the lectures for your son. If he can remember them.

Michael: I want the guy with the one arm and the fake blood. J. Walter Weatherman. How do I get a hold of him?
George Sr.: Well, he's, uh, dead. You killed him when you left the door open with the air conditioner on.

Michael: Tell you what. I'm going to give you the cash, but in return, I get to ask you for a favor sometime.
Gob: My gut is telling me no. But my gut is also very hungry.

George, Sr.: What time is it? Oh, almost sundown. I have to prepare for the Sabbath.
Michael: It's Tuesday.
George, Sr.: Shh.

What? Oh, no! It's the cops! Oh! And a ... Construction worker.

Gob

Gob: (about the hot cops) These guys are pros, Michael. They're gonna push the tension 'til the last possible moment before they strip.
Michael: They're not going to strip, are they?
Gob: I told them not to, but I can't promise that their instincts won't kick in.

Buster: I really appreciate you doing this for me. You're making a very miserable person happy.
George Michael: She really feels awful, huh?
Buster: Oh, I was talking about me. But yeah, she's a mess. Be careful.

Lindsay: I see. Fine. I was going to take her out for ice cream, but if you'd rather stay here. Well, that's just fine with me.
Maeby: Well, we can go get some ice cream, Gangee. That would be fun, right?
Lucille: I don't think so. That chubby little wrist of yours is testing the tensile strength of this bracelet as it is.

Michael: Oh, no. This can't be from my son.
Gob: Well, it is his handwriting. Plus, he left me $200. $100. 100 -- I accidentally said 200.
Michael: This is impossible. Why would he do this?
Gob: I know. You know? I was shocked. I mean, really, $100. You can't get good weed for a hundred bucks.

Lindsay: (about the broach) You know I wanted that.
Lucille: I know. But it's an elephant. And I didn't want to invite the comparison.

Michael: Your uncle Gob seems to think that he saw you down at the docks today. Was that you?
George Michael: No. Maybe it was the other George Michael. You know, the singer-songwriter.

Arrested Development Season 1 Quotes

Um, I forget their name, but I know they're hungry. I think some are thirsty.

Lindsay

(talking about the money their fund-raiser brought in) Well, most of that money was from the Bluth Company. I mean, how ...
(Michael looks surprised) ... are you?

Tobias