George, Sr.: Why?! If someone had left a note, this innocent man would still have his arm! Why?!
J. Walter Weatherman: And that's why you always leave a note.

Lindsay: Well, I think stress is what leads to trouble. You know the kind you put on George Michael, even when he gets an A?
Michael: Minus. And an A gets him ice cream. He knows that.

Michael: All I'm saying, Lindsay, is that, you know, you might want to push her a little bit because a kid without discipline can get into some pretty tough stuff.
Lindsay: So, you think she's going to suddenly turn to drugs because she got a C plus?
Michael: Minus. And yes, I think that without boundaries, a kid can get into trouble, and yeah, sometimes that can mean drugs.

Michael: A minus, huh?
George Michael: Proud of me?
Michael: Very proud. Minus. Better go hit the books. Get up there.

Michael: You knew the whole time, didn't you?
George Michael: Well, sort of. One of the Hot Cops is my choir teacher.

Maeby: "C minus." C m-i-n-e-s.
Lindsay: Did you even study?
Maeby: No, I didn't.
Lindsay: Wow. How impressive is that?

Michael: Your uncle Gob seems to think that he saw you down at the docks today. Was that you?
George Michael: No. Maybe it was the other George Michael. You know, the singer-songwriter.

I don't criticize you! And if you're worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense.

Lucille

Maeby: (working with Lucille) This is so much fun. I can't believe my mom thought being here would be a punishment.
Lucille: Oh, she thinks I'm too critical. That's another fault of hers.

Michael: You mean you taught me a lesson not to teach lessons?
George Sr.: It was my last lesson.

What? Oh, no! It's the cops! Oh! And a ... Construction worker.

Gob

Gob: (about the hot cops) These guys are pros, Michael. They're gonna push the tension 'til the last possible moment before they strip.
Michael: They're not going to strip, are they?
Gob: I told them not to, but I can't promise that their instincts won't kick in.

Arrested Development Season 1 Quotes

Um, I forget their name, but I know they're hungry. I think some are thirsty.

Lindsay

(talking about the money their fund-raiser brought in) Well, most of that money was from the Bluth Company. I mean, how ...
(Michael looks surprised) ... are you?

Tobias