Arrested Development Season 1 Quotes
Lindsay: Where's Nana?
Lucille: I sent her on a wonderful cruise. You just missed a wonderful call from her. She just came back from a wonderful costume party that the captain threw. She gained ten pounds, there's so much food on that boat. She's up to 74.
Gob: (to George Michael) Maybe we'll meet a couple of young coeds along the way. How young is too young for you?
Michael: Ok, that's not going to happen. Ok? There's not gonna be any coeds. There certainly isn't going to be any magic. (to George Michael) It is a path to a lonely life where people mock you, and you don't even realize it.
Gob: Um, Michael, I'm a magici - Oh, I see what you did.
Maeby: The only real way to find out how it's done is to sneak on the boat while he does it.
George Michael: Yeah, but then if he makes it disappear, won't everyone just see me standing there?
Maeby: Let's just sit quietly and consider how ridiculous that statement was ... Anyway, if it was me, that's what I would do.
Lindsay: Speaking of which, have we gotten anything from Nana?
Michael: Buster got a perforated heart and Gob got that receding hairline, but you and I pretty much dodged the bullet.
George Sr.: What are you doing firing Kitty? You can't fire Kitty. First of all, you don't have hiring and firing power.
Michael: I do, and I had to... She's crazy.
George Sr.: Well, that's why you don't fire her. You don't fire crazy. You never fire crazy.
(Picks up phone)
George Michael: Good afternoon, Bluth company. Talk you off? Talk you off of what, Pop-pop?
George Sr.: George Michael. Oh. Hey, I thought you were ... When's that voice going to drop?
Gob: Spring break. It's my favorite holiday. Nothing gets me more excited.
Michael: I can see that. You might wanna button that shirt up.
Gob: Nah, I'm good.
As Gob was forced to send away someone he loved, George Sr. was forced to visit someone he had once tried to shove out of a moving car.
Narrator
Gob: I sunk it! I sunk the yacht! At least I think I sunk it. I mean, I blew it up and I don't see it anywhere. Oh, God, my heart was in my throat when that curtain came down and I'm looking out --
Michael: You sank the yacht? You sank a $700,000 yacht?
Gob: With $900,000 worth of insurance on it. And got rid of the evidence. How about a "Good job"?!
Gob: And now you love the ten commandments. And yet you're the one who so conveniently forgot "Thou shalt protect thy father and honor no one above him unless it be-ith me, thy sweet Lord".
Michael: I'm not sure that one made it down the mountain, Gob.
So, what about us? We were starting to establish some trust. Except for all the lies.
Maggie
Lindsay: I've always been very passionate about the separation of church and state.
Michael: What are you going to do with them?
Lindsay: Oh, I don't know. Give them to a school.
