Battle Creek Quotes
Russ: I wet my bed til I was 12.
Milt: No you didn't.
Milt: I know you're worried about Holly, but I'm sure everything's...
Russ: Stop talkin' right there.
Milt: I'm sorry, I'm just trying to reassure you.
Russ: Reassure me? So as this is not a professional conversation, we don't need to be having it.
Milt: You're hurt?
Russ: I opened up to you because you kept jabbering on about trust and I thought, for a brief moment, that you meant it. That you were right, people work work together, they should trust each other. You know, they shouldn't have secrets, so then I told you a deeply personal story and I get nothing.
Milt: I'm sorry that I didn't reciprocate. It's just that you told me a deeply personal fictional story and I couldn't come up with something fast enough.
So the owner is out front waiting patiently to find out whether he's a murderer?
Russ
Russ: Your snitch is an NBA cheerleader?
Al: You got a problem with that?
Russ: No I don't got a problem with that. My problem is that my snitch is a fat, annoying, hairy moron.
Milt: The evidence is pointing against your theory, Russ.
Russ: Yeah, that's why we need more evidence, Milt.
Joey: You think I'm dealin' heroin?
Milt: I think a kilo is a bit much to keep on hand if you're just using.
Milt: Look, I'm not even certain we should be focusing on the parents.
Russ: Perhaps we should be focusing on the education system, society at large.
Commander: We've got a dad who wants to go to prison to protect his daughter. I say we let him. I like that ending better.
Milt: Well, so she doesn't care about the truth?
Russ: She cares deeply about the truth, but she cares even more about justice.
Funkhauser: We all feel that Detective Agnew's suspension was completely unjust. I mean, the detectives of Battle Creek have had their hands tied tightly enough by lack of resources, lack of staff...
Commander: That's kind of the same thing.
Niblet: Don't interrupt. He memorize it. He gets messed up.
Commander: Memorized? This is something you wrote down?
Milt: Why you smilin'?
Russ: Am I? I'm just wondering if this is the first time you've ever been turned down for something.
Milt: You do realize my failing to get that warrant affects you, too.
Russ: Oh, no. I'm upset about it. But I'm a complex person, capable of many emotions.
Look at that. Milt gets original art and we get counterfeit water.
Russ
Russ: Does this ever work for you?
Milt: Yes. People want to do the right thing.
Russ: Let me tell you what works for me. [whistles] Ricky? You don't need to go to jail. You could just die. You shoot this bastard, I'm gonna shoot you. [Milt puts out his hand to Ricky]
