I swear to God, if that's my high school math teacher here for an intervention, I'm going to cut my face off.

Josh

Aidan: Does your mom cook with garlic?
Josh: I don't, I don't know. Seriously? Is that a thing? For real?
Aidan: Yes or no Josh??
Josh: I guess so. Does it kill you?
Aidan: No, no it doesn't. It just makes us...us.
Josh: Okay, okay, so stop being you. How? How do we do that?
Aidan: Ahh...feverfew
Josh: Fee..what?? Is that, is that, is that a band?
Aidan: It's an herb...Josh!
Josh: Okay, how about any other herb? Any other herb, like on earth?
Aidan Mistletoe?
Josh: How about Matza Meal. Anything I don't have to summon a warlock for?
Josh: And, you're naked. And taking a bath in the middle of dinner.

Josh: If he gets inside, you need to cut his head off. You need to cut it off completely, do you understand? Okay? Yes. Keep them behind you.
Dad: This is crazy!
Josh: Just do what I say.

What? You're always throwing it in my face that I'm a ghost. Let's put it to use.

Sally

Aidan: You know, I've been thinking about last night, and you were right not to make a move.
Josh: Really?
Aidan: No. Look at them. Josh, you can't let Nora go out with that bastard.
Josh: Maybe she's into bastards; I don't know. As long as she's happy, right?

I'm bored. Can I go back and watch Josh wash up urine?

Sally

I do love to watch you squirm. It's as though you're an artist and awkward is your medium.

Nora

Sally: Did you double down on antiperspirant? You tend to sweat a lot when you're nervous.
Josh: I went through half a speed stick.

Okay, I don't know what being 'wolfie' means, but I do know that you haven't gotten laid in two years. Josh, be the wolf.

Sally

Nora: Oh, you have soft lips.
Josh: I'm a big lip balm guy.

Cindy: Are you trying to use my son to pick up girls? Because that only works with babies.
Aidan: No, puppies are good, too.

We're all hiding something, aren't we? From the moment we wake, look in that little mirror, all we do is spin our little lies.

Josh

Being Human Quotes

Every human spends a night or two on the dark side and regrets it. But what if you only exist - on the dark side?

Josh

We're all hiding something, aren't we? From the moment we wake, look in that little mirror, all we do is spin our little lies.

Josh