Better Off Ted Season 2 Quotes
Lem: You wanted to see me?
Veronica: Yes. Lem, I want to talk to you about your sperm.
Lem: I'm sorry. It got out of its containment vessel and it's extremely aggressive. Wait, did you say my sperm?
Phil: Why doesn't the company want me to reproduce?
Lem: Sorry, Phil, I can't think about your reproductive system right now. I have to go see Veronica and my own reproductive system has retreated like a turtle's head up into my abdomen.
Who does the company think it is, telling us who to boff? We fought the British over our right to boff. They wanted us to shag.
Linda
Ted: So to save money, the company is getting involved in people's sex lives? They may regret that, like when they tried to replace food in the cafeteria with food pellets.
Veronica: Unlike eating those pellets, this is not a mandate. Anything that starts with the word "whee" is just a fun suggestion. Like the Constitution and "Whee the People."
Ted: So, Veronica, the company wants genetically compatible employees to pair up? Is this the first step in trying to breed someone tall enough to change that light bulb in the lobby?
Veronica: Why do you think there's always some dark motive behind everything the company does? Did the corporation once touch you in a place that made you uncomfortable?
Ted: When they rolled back my pension, I definitely felt it between the cheeks.
Veronica: Okay, fine, this whole thing is about money. Happy now, Mr. Cynical?
Ted: Well, technically, Mr. Cynical can't be happy. It's his power and his curse.
Ted: Phil, just because they use the word "whee" doesn't mean it's a good thing. Remember "Whee! It's Pension Rollbacks"?
Phil: Oh, actually that was fun.. until they rolled back our pensions.
"Whee... Love is in the Air." Well, gee, genetic engineering is romantic. That's why it's so often used as a prom theme.
