Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quotes
Mayor Wilkins: This isn't working.
Mr. Trick: It's supposed to do something besides shred paper?
Mayor Wilkins: It's supposed to cheer me up it what it's supposed to do. Why in the world would Allan leave a paper trail a mile long about our dealings? You think he was going to betray me? Oh no, that's a horrible thought! Now he's dead and I'll never have the chance to, well ... scold him and find out.
Wesley: Does everybody know about you?
Buffy: She's a friend.
Cordelia: Let's not exaggerate.
You and me, Faith, we're a lot alike. Time was, I thought humans existed just to hurt each other. But then I came here. And I found out that there are other types of people. People who genuinely wanted to do right. And they make mistakes. And they fall down. You know, but they keep caring. Keep trying. If you can trust us, Faith, this can all change. You don't have to disappear into the darkness.Angel
Wesley: My. She's cheeky, isn't she?
Faith: Uh, first word: jail. Second word: bait.
Wesley: Buffy, you will go to the Gleaves family crypt tonight and fetch the amulet.
Buffy: I will?
Wesley: Are you not used to being given orders?
Buffy: Whenever Giles sends me on a mission, he always says “please.” And afterwards I get a cookie.
[She smiles at Giles]
Buffy: That's the job. What else can we do?
Faith: Whatever we want! We're Slayers, girlfriend. The Chosen Two. Why should we let him take all the fun out of it?
Buffy: That'd be tragic, taking all the fun out of slaying and stabbing and beheading.
Faith: Oh, like you don't dig it.
Buffy: I don't.
Faith: Liar. I've seen you. Tell me staking a vamp doesn't get you a little bit juiced. Say it.
[Buffy looks aways]
Faith: Ah! Can't fool me. The look in your eyes right after a kill. Just get hungry for more.
Buffy: You are way off base.
Faith: Tell me that if you don't get in a good slaying, after a while you start itching for some vamp to show up so you can give him a good...
[Faith makes a stabbing sound and grunts]
Buffy: Again with the grunting. I'm not comfortable with that.
Faith: Hey, slaying is what we're built for. If you're not enjoying it, you're doing something wrong.
Balthazar: You know what I want.
Giles: If it's for me to scrub those hard-to-reach areas, I'd like to request you kill me now.
Wesley: I have, in fact, faced two vampires myself, under controlled circumstances, of course.
Giles: No danger of finding those here.
Giles: Controlled circumstances.
Xander: Listen, do you guys need any help?
Giles: Hmm? Oh, no, no, thank you. Probably best if you stay out of trouble.
Xander: No chance of that.
Jack: Xander! Motor!
Giles: There's something different about this menace, something in the air. The stench of death.
Xander: Yeah, I think it's Bob.
Xander: Yeah, great knife. Although, I think, um, it may, technically, be a sword.
Jack: She's called Katie.
Xander: You gave it a girl's name. How very serial killer of you.
Cordelia: It must be really hard when all your friends have, like, superpowers. Slayer, werewolf, witches, vampires, and you're, like, this little nothing. You must feel like Jimmy Olsen.
Xander: I was just talking to... hey, mind your own business.
Cordelia: Oh, I struck a nerve. The boy that had no cool.
Xander: I happen to be an integral part of that group. I happen to have a lot to offer.
Cordelia: Oh, please.
Xander: I do.
Cordelia: Integral part of the group? Xander, you're the useless part of the group. You're the Zeppo. “Cool.” Look it up. It's something that a sub-literate that's repeated twelfth grade three times has, and you don't.
[Cordelia walks away]
Cordelia: There was no part of that that wasn't fun.
Willow: And if it opens?
Buffy: Do you remember the demon that almost got out the night I died?
Willow: Every nightmare I have that doesn't revolve around academic failure or public nudity is about that thing. In fact, once I dreamt that it attacked me while I was late for a test and naked.
Buffy: Well, it'll be the first to come out.