Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 2 Quotes
Spike: Well, our old place was just fine till you went and had it burned down.
Angelus: Things change, Spikey. You gotta roll with the punches. Well, actually, you pretty much got that part down, haven't you?
Spike: Very funny, mate.
Angelus: What can I say? I just love to see you smile, buddy.
Xander: He killed a person and killed himself. Those are pretty much two of the dumbest things you could do.
Willow: I know, but...well, don't you feel kind of bad for them?
Buffy: Sure I feel lousy. For her. He's a murderer and he should pay for it.
Willow: With his life?
Buffy: No, he should be doing sixty years in a prison, breaking rocks and making special friends with Roscoe the weightlifter.
Xander: Yikes. The quality of mercy is not Buffy.
Willow: Xander, what happened? Did Cordelia win another round in the broom closer?
Xander: You’re just a big bucket of fun, Will. I'll have you know I was just accosted by some kind of, um, locker monster.
Rupert Giles: Loch Ness Monster?
Buffy: “Locker” monster is what he said.
Angelus: Fun fact about wasps. They have no taste for the undead. Not that a sting would do me any damage, it's just...tonight's special. I wanted to look my best for you.
Buffy: [Possessed] You're the only one. The only person I can talk to.
Angelus: Gosh, Buff. That's really pathetic.
Buffy: You can't make me disappear just because you say it's over.
Angelus: Actually...I can. In fact...
[Angelus is possessed]
Angelus: I just want you to be able to have some kind of normal life. We can never have that, don't you see?
Buffy: I don't give a damn about a normal life! I'm going crazy not seeing you. I think about you every minute.
Giles: To forgive is an act of compassion, Buffy. It's-it's...it's not done because people deserve it. It's done because they need it.
Buffy: No. James destroyed the one person he loved the most in a moment of blind passion. And that's not something you forgive. No matter why he did what he did. And no matter if he knows now that it was wrong and selfish and stupid, it is just something he's gonna have to live with.
Xander: He can't live with it, Buff. He's dead.
[Buffy leaves]
Cordelia: Okay. Over identify much?
Willow: You’re thinking too much. Maybe you need to be impulsive?
Buffy: Impulsive? Do you remember my ex-boyfriend, the vampire? I slept with him, he lost his soul, now my boyfriend's gone forever and the demon that wears his face is killing my friends. The next impulsive decision I make will involve my choice of dentures.
Willow: Okay, the Angel thing went badly. I'm on board with that, but that's not your fault. And anyways, love isn't always like that. Love can be...nice.
Willow: Buffy’s not in here for cosmetic surgery.
Cordelia: No, but while she’s in here she might as well get that thing done. You know, that thing on her face. You know...that thing.
Willow: Do you think Angel will attack Buffy in here?
Xander: He can come in. It’s a public building.
Willow: That’s true.
Cordelia: Am I the only one that’s noticed that thing?!
Cordelia: What about you?
Xander: I’m going to stay here.
Cordelia: Oh, right. Your obsession with protecting Buffy. Have I told you how attractive that's not?
Xander: Cordelia, someone's gotta watch her back.
Cordelia: Yeah well, I've seen you watch her back.
Xander: What is that supposed to mean?
Cordelia: Well, I was using the phrase 'watch her back' as a euphemism for 'looking at her butt.' You know, sort of a pun.
Willow: I'm good at medical stuff, since Xander and I used to play doctor all the time.
[Xander laughs uncomfortably and Cordelia stares him daggers]
Xander: No, she's being literal. She used to have all these medical volumes and diagnosed me with stuff. I didn't have the heart to tell her she was playing it wrong.
Willow: Wrong? Why? How did you play doctor?
Buffy: I...never have.
Angelus: If I decide to walk into Buffy's room, do you even believe for a micro-second that you could stop me?
Xander: Maybe not. Maybe that security guard couldn't either, or those cops or the orderlies, but I'm kind of curious to find out. You game?
Angelus: Buffy's white knight. You still love her.
[Angelus whispers]
Angelus: It must just eat you up that I got there first.
Xander: You're gonna die and I'm gonna there.
[Angelus gives Xander the flowers for Buffy]
Angelus: Tell her I stopped by.
Buffy: Maybe it wasn’t Death? Maybe it was something else?
Cordelia: So, this isn’t about you being afraid of hospitals ‘cause your friend died and you wanna conjure up a monster that you can fight, so you can save everybody and not feel so helpless?
Giles: Cordelia, have you actually ever heard of tact?
Cordelia: Tact is just not saying true stuff. I'll pass.
Cordelia: Eww, what does this do?
Giles: What?
Cordelia: What does this do?
Giles: Uh, it extracts vital organs to replenish its own mutating cells.
Cordelia: Wow. What does this one do?
Giles: Um, it elongates its mouth to, uh, engulf its victim's head with its incisors.
Cordelia: Ouch. Wait, what does this one do?
Giles: It asks endless questions of those with whom it's supposed to be working so that nothing is getting done.
Cordelia: Boy, there's a demon for everything.
