Californication Quotes
No more grinding up on middle-aged hard-ons for me, except for yours of course.
Jackie
Rick Springfield: Nothing like the sound of a stripper's head on a hard-wood floor.
Hank: What the fuck is wrong with you?
Rick: What, oh you don't rough 'em up? Well excuse me George Bailey...
Felicia: That was some very intense and powerful love-making.
Hank: Not a big fan of that term: love-making - making love. I prefer boning, stuffing, stupping, banging, porking, boffing - anything, take your pick, just not love-making.
You obviously have this thing with women, some very strong connection, that no matter what you do, no matter how big of an ass you are, they seem to respond - you're a goddamn girl whisperer!
Stacey
Do you really think a woman wants to go down on a man who just walked in off the tennis courts? Or just came in from a ride? Huh? You think I want to peel off those sweaty bike shorts and go to town? Disgusting!
Felicia
I'm not mad at you. You wouldn't get mad at a big dumb dog for shitting on the rug, would you?
Becca
Actually Dad, yes, this house is a bordello, because that's how it's run by you.
Becca
When you started, I thought, my god this man has diarrhea of the mouth and there is no Kaopectate in sight.
Sue
You're Runkle, you'd whack it to a cat dancing on YouTube.
Sue
I do some of my best work from the bottom. You know why? Hands free - it's like sexual blue tooth.
Hank
To our beautiful family, our black President, and my magnificent dong.
Hank
Entertainment for the poor, that's what my mother always called children.
Hank
