We belonged in the sun, with the wind in our hair. Or maybe at a Bennigan's, enjoying a Turkey O'Toole.

Abed

Have I ever pretended to shoot a guy in front of you to teach you about gun safety?

Policeman [to Annie]

Jeff: Guess where Rich is from?
Britta: Couldn't have been crazy town because you would have gone to high school together.

An epidural is a proper Christian woman's only chance to get wrecked.

Shirley

Shirley: This is not your baby Chang.
Chang: How do you know?
Shirley: Because I don't see any locusts.

Abed: Jeff wants to see you.
Annie: And I want pants. A lot of people want a lot of things.

Well that answers my question. Jeff Winger is sexy even in a coffin.

Dean Pelton

Dean Pelton: I'm inclined to agree with the man in uniform.
Jeff: Shocker.

Abed [about Jeff and Britta]: Will they or won't they, sexual tension
Jeff: Abed, it make the group uncomfortable when you talk about the group like we're characters in a show you're watching
Abed: That's sort of my gimmick, but we did lean on that pretty hard last week. I can lay low for an episode

We named the yam "Pam." It rhymed.

Abed

He also listens to the Barenaked Ladies. Go get their dumbasses to help you.

Jeff

Jeff: Oh look! Indiana Jones and the Apartment of Perpetual Virginity.
Troy: Chops busted fellow adult, chops busted.

Community Quotes

Hello during a random dessert, the month and day of which coincide numerically with your expulsion from a uterus.

Troy [reading the cake]

Pop, pop, Captain.

Magnitude