Shirley: Mother Hen? I think we're about the same age.
Britta: Sure, unless time is linear.
Shirley: I'll make your ass linear.
Britta: That doesn't make any sense.
Shirley: I'll make your ass sense.

Jeff: Hey troy sneezes like a girl
Troy: How about I pound you like a boy... that didn't come out right

Quick impression--waaaa. Who am I? You guys.

Jeff

Britta: So Oedipal.
Priest [to Britta]: You're the worst.

SS Agent: I could issue a warning for this bootleg of "The Last Airbender."
Abed: Where were you a week ago?

Clean up on aisle busted.

Troy

Getting rid of drugs was a good I-Bee-A.

Abed

Whatevs, we'll take it next semes. Ter. Semester.

Annie

Carl, I see you've grown a new douchebag.

Jeff

I'll imaginary-sleep when I'm imaginary-dead.

Professor Hickey

I hate to say I told you so, so I'll shout it through cupped hands.

Jeff

Shirley: See? Prayer works.
Britta: So does gravity, Shirley.
Shirley: And you know who invented gravity, right?

Community Quotes

Can we just take a mental step backwards and realize we're simply in a Winnebago?

Jeff

Britta: Are you okay? It looks like you have actual bedhead this morning.
Jeff: In fashion, I'm what's known as a taste-maker.
Britta: And you missed an entire side of your face shaving.
Jeff: And next month, so will Gwen Stefani