Hello during a random dessert, the month and day of which coincide numerically with your expulsion from a uterus.

Troy [reading the cake]

Sensible night, appropriate night.
Snow on ground, left and right.
Round yon purchase of decorative things.
Tolerant rewrite of carols to sing.
Function with relative ease,
Function with relative ease.

Shirley [sung to the tune of "Silent Night"]

Annie: When you found out I was Jewish, you invited me to a 'pool party' that turned out to be a Baptism.
Shirley: Well excuse me for trying to sneak you into Heaven.

Jeff: There's a place at Third and Water. It's fun, divey but not staph infection divey. It's either got a gross name, or an ironically fancy one. Possibly both.
Britta: Oh, The Ball Toom. Good.

Pierce has got space madness or he's just old or something.

Troy

What are you doing in an apartment above Dildopolis? And when did they open a second location?

Pierce

Someone make her a dude, so I can punch her.

Troy

Why do you wanna know the secret to making a woman psycho?

Shirley [to Jeff]

I can't believe our assignment is to make a diorama of us making our nineteenth diorama.

Britta

You've never seen one on the Internet, or in pictures, or Harvey Keitel's?

Shirley

I just heard from the Guiness rep. He's not coming. He's been fired in what he described as the world's biggest mistake.

Dean Pelton

Shirley: Can somebody please all Andre? It's Sugarboots in my phone.
Troy: That hurts Shirley.

Community Quotes

Sensible night, appropriate night.
Snow on ground, left and right.
Round yon purchase of decorative things.
Tolerant rewrite of carols to sing.
Function with relative ease,
Function with relative ease.

Shirley [sung to the tune of "Silent Night"]

Annie: How much effort am I worth?
Jeff: I'd break a light sweat.