I may be 50 but I am very, very handsome.

Spencer

Now you're just saying words.

Zoila

My doctor says its best to wake naturally from a Merlot and Ambien sleep.

Evelyn

You have a fine home, its cozy. Has it always been teal?

Evelyn

That's just her natural expression. Evelyn has resting murder face.

Adrian

Number 32 is perfect! Put laxatives in her coffee.

Carmen

The black one. The gold one makes you look like a pimp.

Carmen

Before you say anything, that massage therapist placed my hand there himself.

Evelyn

Perhaps she can have a little doggy bag in the car.

Genevieve

Adrian: You're the only person who could match me blow for blow.
Evelyn: Well I'm sorry Adrian. But from now on you'll just have to blow yourself.

And when he got drunk he was a totally different person. One time I thought he was gonna kill me.

Carmen

You couldn't kill that man's penis with a stick. I know, I tried once.

Evelyn

Devious Maids Season 4 Quotes

Maybe not the deaf. They don't have to hear her awful whine.

Genevieve

I'm not going to lie, being in a wheelchair is boring and this promises to be positively scintillating.

Adrian