Eastbound & Down Season 1 Episode 1: "Chapter 1" Quotes
I'm the man who has the ball. I'm the man who can throw it faster than f**k. So that is why i am better than everyone in the world. Kiss my ass and suck my d**k... everyone.
Kenny Powers
But a true champion, face to face with his darkest hour, will do whatever it takes to rise above. A man fights, and fights, and then fights some more. Because surrender is death, and death is for pussies.
Kenny Powers
I play real sports, not try to be the best at exercising.
Kenny Powers
Sure, I've been called a xenophobe, but the truth is, I'm not. I honestly just feel that America is the best country and the other countries aren't as good. That used to be called patriotism.
Kenny Powers
A lot of people ask me, 'Kenny Powers, you're a giant superstar. You can get any woman. Have you ever paid for sex?' And the answer is yes, I have. Several times, in fact. And it's actually kinda cool. You can negotiate practically anything and sometimes, even just kind of do stuff in the moment that you never agreed to pay for and it goes by without much argument.
Kenny Powers
I'm Kenny Powers! And I am very upset with how I am acting right now. I just have a very hard time expressing my emotions, and I can't stop from yelling.
Kenny Powers
I am talking about me. I want — these are questions about me personally as a superstar. You know, you got this moment in time here with an American icon and you're gonna waste it asking a question about the f*cking mile?
Kenny Powers
Kid in Gym Class: My dad said you ruined baseball.
Kenny Powers: You know what? I can already tell that I don't like you. And I'm probably not going to like you no matter how many pull-ups or push-ups you do. If anybody wants to pick on anybody in class, aim for him, cause I aint watching.
Terrence: You want a smoothie?
Kenny: No, I'm straight.
Interviewer: So Kenny, how do you feel about playing for New York?
Kenny: You mean Jew York? It's fucking great.
