Friends Season 2 Episode 16: "The One Where Joey Moves Out" Quotes
Ross: Mon, Mon, are you okay?
Monica: You remember that video I found of mom and dad?
Ross: Yeah.
Monica: Well, I just caught the live show.
Ross: Eww.
Jack: Look, I know what you're going through. When I turned 50 I got the Porsche. You... you got your own little speedster.
Richard: Guys. Seriously, it is not like that.
Jack: Tell you what, maybe one of these weekends you can borrow the car and I cou...
Ross: Dad, I beg you not to finish that sentence.
Ross: (About arriving at her parents' house with Richard) All right, shall we?
Monica: Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait. You know what? Ross, let's, let's switch places. You get in the middle. No un-, ya know, unless this looks like we're trying to cover something up.
Ross: Monica, Monica, you could come in straddling him, they still wouldn't believe it.
Joey: (While packing) Hey, you guys are still going to come visit me, right?
Ross: Oh yeah, you got the big TV. We'll be over there all the time... (Chandler gives him a look) except when we are here.
Rachel: (About tattoos) Why didn't you get it?
Phoebe: I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Rachel: Phoebe, how would you do this to me? This was all your idea.
Phoebe: I know, I know, and I was going to get it, but then he came in with this needle and, uh... Did you know they do this with needles?
Rachel: Really? You don't say, because mine was licked on by kittens!
Joey: I'm 28 years old, I've never lived alone, and I'm finally at a place where I've got enough money that I don't need a roommate anymore.
Chandler: Woah, woah, woah. I don't need a roommate either, okay? I can afford to live here by myself. You know, I may have to bring in somebody once a week to lick the silverware.
Monica: Dad, dad this is a good thing for me. You know, and you even said yourself, you've never seen Richard happier.
Jack: When did I say that?
Monica: Upstairs in the bathroom right before you felt up Mom.
Phoebe: Okay, hey! Is your boyfriend the boss of you?
Rachel: No.
Phoebe: Okay, who is the boss of you?
Rachel: You?
Phoebe: I don't believe this. Is this how this relationship's going to work? Ross equals boss. I mean, come on what is this, 1922?
Rachel: What's 1922?
Phoebe: Just, you know, long time ago. Well, when men used to tell women what to do... a lot. And then there was suffrage, which is a good thing but is sounds horrible.
Phoebe: Okay, Rach. Which, which lily? This lily or that lily?
Rachel: Well, I...
Phoebe: I like this lily. It's more open, you know, and that's like my mom. She had a more open, giving spirit. Oh! Foghorn Leghorn! Oh!
Judy: Well, you kids thank Dr. Burke for the ride?
Ross: Uh, actually Mom, I think Monica thanked him for the both of us.
Chandler: (About Joey finishing his cereal, licking his spoon, and putting it back in the silverware drawer) The spoon. You licked and, and you put. You licked and you put!
Joey: Yeah, so.
Chandler: Well don't you see how gross that is? I mean that's like you using my toothbrush. (Joey looks sheepish) You used my toothbrush?
Joey: Well, that was only because I used the red one to unclog the drain.
Chandler: Mine is the red one! Oh God. Can open, worms everywhere.
Joey: Hey, why can't we use the same toothbrush, but we can use the same soap?
Chandler: Because soap is soap. It's self-cleaning.
Joey: All right, well next time you take a shower, think about the last thing I wash and the first thing you wash.
