Phoebe: (About tattoos) Um, I'm getting a lily for my Mom. 'Cause her name's Lily.
Chandler: Wow, that's lucky. What if her name was Big Ugly Splotch?

Phoebe: Oh, look at you fancy lads. What's the occasion?
Joey: Well, you know that guy that's on my show that's in a coma? He's having a brunch.

(To Monica) I don't know, I don't think mom and dad would mind. Remember when you were 9 and Richard was 30, how dad used to say, "God I hope they get together."


Joey: I don't wanna leave you high and dry.
Chandler: Hey, I've never been lower or wetter.

Richard: Maybe we should just tell them.
Monica: Maybe we should just tell your parents first.
Richard: My parents are dead.
Monica: God, you are so lucky.

Chandler: Richard's going to the party too, huh?
Monica: He's my parents' best friend. He has to be there.
Joey: So, is today the day you gonna tell them about you two?
Monica: Yeah, for my Dad's birthday, I decided to give him a stroke.

Joey: Man, this is weird. Ever realize Cap'n Crunch's eyebrows are actually on his hat?
Chandler: That's what's weird? Joey, the man's been captain of a cereal for the last forty years.

Phoebe: I'm getting a tattoo.
Ross: A tattoo? Why would you wanna do that?
Rachel: Don't you think that would be kinda cool?
Ross: No, sorry I don't. Why would anyone pay someone to scar their body for life? What if it doesn't come out right, Pheebs, and it's like I own a bad haircut all the time? (Awkward silence) Why is everyone staring at me?

Chandler: Your little men are gonna get scored on more times than your sister!
Joey: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Which sister?

Ross: You got a tattoo?
Rachel: Yeah, but just a little one. Phoebe got the whole world!

Friends Season 2 Episode 16 Quotes

Jack: Look, I know what you're going through. When I turned 50 I got the Porsche. You... you got your own little speedster.
Richard: Guys. Seriously, it is not like that.
Jack: Tell you what, maybe one of these weekends you can borrow the car and I cou...
Ross: Dad, I beg you not to finish that sentence.

Ross: Mon, Mon, are you okay?
Monica: You remember that video I found of mom and dad?
Ross: Yeah.
Monica: Well, I just caught the live show.
Ross: Eww.