Monica: Joey just saw Janice kissing her ex-husband.
Ross: What? (To Joey) So what are you going to do? I mean how, how are you going to tell Chandler?
Joey: Well, I was thinking about that and I, I think the best way would be, to not.
Rachel: Joey, you can't keep this to yourself, if you know about this, you have to tell him.
Joey: It'll kill him. I mean it'll, it'll just kill him.
Phoebe: Well, you could wait 'til I go to the dentist, maybe I'll kill him.

Monica: He's not going to say anything because we're not going to tell him.
Rachel: We're not?
Monica: No, we're not.
Rachel: Alright, I like that.

Monica: Okay, Ben, I won't tell your daddy that you had ice cream for dinner, if you don't tell about our little bonking incident.
Rachel: Monica, number one, I don't think Ben understands the concept of bribery, and number two, I... (Joey starts laughing) What?!
Joey: You said number two.
Rachel: I also said number one.
Joey: I know. (Laughs harder)

Ross: Okay, I have a problem I have to go into work for a few hours. Some kids messed up the Homo Sapien display.
Joey: What did they do?
Ross: Well, they painted over the word "Sapien" for one thing, then they rearranged the figures. Let's just leave it at that.

Ross: Pheebs, come on, you didn't kill anybody, these people just happened to die when you went to the dentist. It's, it's, it's just ah, a coincidence.
Phoebe: Well tell that to them. Oh! You can't, they're dead.

Phoebe: Every time I go to the dentist, somebody dies.
Chandler: That is so weird, because every time I go to the dentist, I look down the hygienist's blouse.

Phoebe: (About her dentist) No thanks, I have a good one, too. I just, I, I can't see him.
Chandler: See that is the problem with invisible dentists.

Ugly Naked Guy's using his new hammock. It's like a Play-Doh Fat Factory.


Ross: About that bump on his head...
Rachel: Are you sure it's a new bump? I mean, no offense, but I've always thought of Ben as a fairly bumpy-headed child.

Chandler: Do you think these pearls are nice?
Joey: I'd really prefer a mountain bike.

Phoebe: (About Ugly Naked Guy) He's alive! He's a-live!
Monica: And yet, we're still poking him.
Joey: Okay, retract the device, retract the device.
Ross: He does not look happy.
Rachel: Hey, now he's showing us his poking device.
Joey: Hey, that's never gonna make it all the way over here, buddy!

Monica: Well push it in! Push it in!
Rachel: I can not push it in!

Friends Season 3 Episode 8 Quotes

Joey: If the homo sapiens were in fact homo that why they're extinct?
Ross: Joey, homo sapiens are people!
Joey: Hey, I'm not judging!

Joey: You wanna get her something special, get her flowers. Get her candy. Get her gum. Girls love gum.
Chandler: That's a good idea, "Dear Janice, have a Hubba Bubba birthday!" I would like to get her something serious.
Joey: Oh you want to get her something serious? You know what you should do, you should get her one of those um barium enemas. Those are dead serious.
Chandler: All Right. Look, I'm gonna go in here, and you don't buy me anything ever.