Friends Quotes
Phoebe: There's five hundred extra dollars in my account.
Chandler: Oh, Satan's minions at work again...
Joey ate my last stick of gum, so I killed him. Do you think that was wrong?
Chandler
Phoebe: The soda company gave me $7000 dollars for the thumb.
All: Wow.
Phoebe: Yeah, and on my way over here, I stepped in gum. What is up with the universe?!
Alan: (After being dumped by Monica) Although I gotta say I'm a little relieved.
Monica: Relieved?
Alan: Yeah, I had fun with you, but... I can't stand your friends.
Chandler: (Showing Joey how to smoke for his audition) Don't think of it as a cigarette. Think of it as the thing that's been missing from your hand. With it, you feel right. You feel complete.
Joey: You miss it?
Chandler: No, not so much.
Monica: Guys, we have to talk.
Phoebe: Wait. I'm getting a deja vu... No, I'm not.
Monica: All right, we have to talk.
Phoebe: There it is!
Ross: What is this?!
Chandler: I'm smoking. I'm smoking, I'm smoking.
Phoebe: Oh, I can't believe you! You've been so good, for three years.
Chandler: (Showing the cigarette) And this is my reward.
Ross: Hold on a second, all right? Just think about what you went through the last time you quit.
Chandler: Okay, so this time I won't quit.
Monica: I'll meet someone else. There'll be other Alans.
All: Oh, yeah! Right!
Monica: Are you guys going to be okay?
Ross: Hey, we'll be fine. We're just going to need a little time.
Joey: (Monica drags in Joey) What's going on?
Monica: Nothing. I just think it's nice when we're all here together.
Joey: Even nicer when everyone gets to wear their underwear.
Joey: Don't you have any respect for your body?
Ross: Don't you realize what you're doing to yourself?
Chandler: I've had it with you guys and your cancer, your emphysema and your heart disease. The bottom line is, smoking is cool, and you know it.
If I bought boots, whenever I walked I would hear, "Not mine, not mine, not mine." And when I was skipping, I would hear, "not-not mine, not-not mine, not-not mine."
Phoebe
All: (About Chandler smoking) Hey, come on, put it out.
Rachel: It's worse than the thumb.
Chandler: Hey, this is so unfair.
Monica: Why is it unfair?
Chandler: So I have a flaw! Big deal! Like Joey's constant knuckle cracking isn't annoying? And Ross with his over pronouncing every single word, and Monica with that snort when she laughs... I mean what the hell is that thing? I accept all those flaws why can't you accept me for this?
(Pause)
Joey: Does the knuckle cracking bother everybody or just him?
Rachel: Well, I would live without it.
Joey: Is it like, a little annoying or is it like when Phoebe chews her hair?
(Phoebe takes her hair out of her mouth.)
Ross: Don't listen to them Pheebs, I think it's endearing.
Joey: Oh you do, do you?
(Monica snorts loudly.)
Ross: There's nothing wrong with speaking correctly.
Rachel: Indeed there isn't. (Ross looks at Rachel) I should really be getting back to work.
Phoebe: Yeah, otherwise someone might get what they actually ordered.
Rachel: Oh, the hair comes out and the gloves come off.
(They all start shouting at each other, while Chandler walks away smoking happily.)
