Friends Quotes
I know this is going to sound unbelievably selfish, but, were you planning on bringing up the whole baby/lesbian thing? Because I think it might take some of the heat off me.
Monica
Ross: Okay! Okay. Look, I, uh, I realize you guys have been wondering what exactly happened between Carol and me, and, so, well, here's the deal: Carol's a lesbian. She's living with a woman named Susan. She's pregnant with my child, and she and Susan are going to raise the baby.
Judy: (To Monica) You knew about this?
Judy: (About Rachel) Well, at least she had the chance to leave a man at the altar.
Monica: What's that supposed to mean?
Judy: Nothing. It's an expression.
Monica: No, it's not.
Jack: Don't listen to your mother. You're independent and you always have been. Even when you were a kid, and you were chubby and you had no friends, you were just fine! And you'd read alone in your room, and your puzzles...
(Pause)
There are people, like Ross, who need to shoot for the stars, with his museum and his papers getting published. Other people are satisfied with staying where they are. I'm telling you, these are the people who never get cancer. They're happy with what they have, they're basically content, like... cows.
(On phone) Hi Mindy. Hi it's Rachel. Yeah, fine. I saw Barry today. Uh, yeah, yeah, he told me. No, well it's okay. Really. It's okay, really. I hope you two are very happy. I really do, and well Min, ya know, if everything works out and you guys end up getting married and having kids and everything... I just hope they have his old hairline and your old nose.
Rachel
Monica: What you guys don't understand is that kissing is more important than any other part of it for us.
Joey: Yeah, right. (They all stare at him) You're serious?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah.
Rachel: Everything that you need to know is in that first kiss.
Monica: Absolutely.
Chandler: Yeah, I think for us, kissing is an opening act, you know, like the stand-up comedian you have to sit through before Pink Floyd comes out.
Ross: Yeah, yeah. And it's not like that we don't like the comedian. It's just that that's not why we bought the ticket.
Chandler: You see, the problem is though, after the concert over, no matter how great the show was you girls are always looking for the comedian again. You know, and we're in the car, fighting traffic, basically just trying to stay awake.
Rachel: Yeah, well, word of advice: Bring back the comedian. Otherwise next time you're gonna find yourself sitting at home listening to that album alone. (High-fives Monica)
Joey: Are we still talking about sex?
Joey: All right, when did ya have it on last?
Phoebe: Doy! Probably right before she lost it!
Chandler: You don't get a lot of "doy" these days.
I'm not going to tell you, how much they spent on that wedding. But forty thousand dollars is a lot of money.
Jack
Ross: (Picks up a surgical instrument) Quack quack. Quack quack. Quack.
Carol: Ross, that opens my cervix.
Monica you're scaring me. You're getting all chaotic and twirly... and not in a good way.
Phoebe
Ross: (Discussing baby names) What about Julia?
Carol: Julia!
Susan: We agreed on Minnie.
Ross: It's funny, we (Gestures to Carol) agreed we'd spend the rest of our lives together. Things change, roll with the punches!
Ross: (About Carol being a lesbian) She didn't know! How should I know?
Chandler: Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian. (Everyone turns to stare at him) Did I just say that out loud?
(To Rachel) Welcome to the real world! It sucks! You're going to love it!
Monica
