Louisa: Are you aware that possession of an illegal exotic is punishable by up to four years in prison and confiscation of the animal?
Phoebe: Oh my God! You'd put that poor little creature in jail?

Rachel: It would be different if I had somebody.
Ross: Really? What happened to, "forget relationships, I'm done with men"? The whole penis embargo?

Rachel: Oh, I beg to differ. The Pictionary incident?
Monica: That was not an incident! I was gesturing, and the plate slipped out of my hand.

Joey: You know what, you guys? It's their first time, why don't we just forget about the money, alright?
Monica: Hell no, we'll pay!
Phoebe: Okay, Monica? I had another answer all ready.

Phoebe: (To Joey) Oh I see, so then, you were lying.
Joey: About what?
Phoebe: About how good your cards were.
Joey: I was bluffing.
Phoebe: Aha! And what is bluffing? Is it not another word for lying?

Phoebe: (Reading Rachel's mail) Wow!
Rachel: What?
Phoebe: Your Visa bill is huge!

Rachel: Hmmm, it's so typical: 'Ooh... I'm a man, ooh... I have a penis, ooh... I have to win money to observe my power over women.'

Ross: Rach, did you proofread these?
Rachel: Uh. yeah, why?
Ross: Uh, nothing, I'm sure they'll be impressed with your excellent compuper skills.
Rachel: Oh my God. Oh, do you think it's on all of them?
Joey: Oh no. I'm sure the Xerox machine caught a few.

Rachel: (After winning a hand of poker. Sing-song to Ross) I have got your money, and you'll never see it, and your fly's still open.
Rachel: Ha, I made you look.

Rachel: Can you believe what a jerk Ross was being?
Monica: Yeah, I know. He can get really competitive.
Phoebe: Ha, haha.
Monica: What?
Phoebe: Oh, hello, kettle? This is Monica. You're black.

Rachel: Boy, you really can't stand to lose, can you? Your whole face is getting red... little veins popping out on your temple...
Phoebe: Plus that shirt doesn't really match those pants.

Phoebe: Hey, you know what I just realised? 'Joker' is 'poker' with a 'J'. Coincidence?
Chandler: Hey, that's 'joincidence' with a 'C'.

Friends Season 1 Quotes

Rachel: Daddy! Daddy listen to me! It's like all my life everyone's told me, "You're a shoe! You're a shoe! You're a shoe!" Well, what if I don't want to be a shoe? What if I wanna be a purse or a hat? No I don't want you to buy me a hat, I'm saying I am a hat. It's a metaphor Daddy!
Ross: You can see where he'd have trouble.

Casting Director: Name?
Joey: Holden McGroin.