Friends Season 1 Quotes
Monica: (Holding sandwich) Does anybody wanna split this with me?
Joey: Oh, I will.
Phoebe: Ooh, you guys have to make a wish.
Monica: Make a wish?
Phoebe: Come on, you know, Thanksgiving.
(They rip the sandwich in two halfs)
Phoebe: Ooh, you got the bigger half. What'd you wish for?
Joey: The bigger half.
Chandler: Alright I'd like to propose a toast, a little toast here. Ding, ding! I know this isn't exactly the kind of Thanksgiving that all of you planned, but for me, this has been really great. You know, I think because it didn't involve divorce or projectile vomiting. Anyway I was just thinking, I mean, if you had gone to Vail or if you guys had been with your family or if you didn't have syphilis and stuff ... we wouldn't be all together you know, so I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm very thankful that all your Thanksgivings sucked.
Everyone Else: That's so sweet!
Ross: And hey, here's to a lousy Christmas!
Rachel: And a crappy new year.
Chandler: Here, Here!
Monica: And I assume Chandler, you're still boycotting all the pilgrim holidays.
Chandler: Yes every single one of them.
Chandler: The most unbelievable thing has happened. Underdog has gotten away.
Joey: The balloon?
Chandler: (In a sarcastic tone) No, no, the actual cartoon character. Of course the balloon.
Chandler: An 80-foot inflatable dog loose over the city? How often does that happen?
Phoebe: Almost never.
Rachel: Terry, I, I, I know that I haven't worked here very long, but I was wondering, do you think it would be possible if I got a $100 advance in my salary?
Terry: An advance?
Rachel: It's so that I can spend Thanksgiving with my family. See, every year we go skiing in Vail, and normally my father pays for my ticket, but I sort of started the whole independence thing, you know, which is actually why I took this job.
Terry: Rachel, Rachel, sweetheart. You're a terrible, terrible waitress. Really, really awful.
Joey: Hey, Monica, I got a question. I don't see any tater tots.
Monica: That's not a question.
Ross: (About thinking Chandler was gay) No no, me neither. Although, uh, y'know, back in college, Susan Sallidor did.
Chandler: You're kidding! Did you tell her I wasn't?
Ross: No. No, it's just 'cause, uh, I kinda wanted to go out with her too, so I told her, actually, you were seeing Bernie Spellman... who also liked her, so...
Monica: She is unbelievable, our mother is...
Ross: Okay, relax, relax. We are gonna be here for a while, it looks like, and we still have boyfriends and your career to cover.
Monica: Oh God!
Chandler: I just have to know, okay. Is it my hair?
Rachel: (Exasperated) Yes, Chandler, that's exactly what it is. It's your hair.
Phoebe: Yeah, you have homosexual hair.
Jack: Everyone thinks they know me. Everyone says "Jack Geller, so predictable." Maybe after I'm gone, they'll say "Buried at sea! Huh!."
Monica: That's probably what they'll say.
Jack: I'd like that.
Chandler: You're watching a football game at a funeral?
Joey: No, it's the pre-game. I'm gonna watch it at the reception.
Chandler: You are a frightening, frightening man.
