Ethan: Uh, before we get into any staying-over stuff, there is something you should know.
Monica: Okay, is this like, "I have an early class tomorrow," or, "I'm secretly married to a goat?"

Joey: What the hell does a paleontologist need a beeper for?
Monica: Is it, like, for dinosaur emergencies? "Help! Come quick, they're still extinct!"

Ross: (About his new beeper) No, it's for when Carol goes into labor. She can get me wherever I am. I mean, all she has to do is to dial 55-JIMBO.
Chandler: A cool phone number, and a possible name for the kid.

Phoebe: Can you see me operating a drill press?
Joey: I don't know. What are you wearing?

Ross: Monica, let's go! Come on people! Woman in labor!
Chandler: (Doing a little dance) Hey Ross, look what I got going.
Ross: Save it for the cab. What are you going? We're going to a hospital!
Rachel: (Putting on makeup) What? So I can't look nice? There are doctors there.
Ross: Joey, get out of the fridge!
Joey: All right, all right!
Ross: What is that?
Joey: For the ride.
Chandler: Like a cab--
Ross: Save it!
Chandler: Okay, hating this!
Ross:Monica, come one, now! Let's go! Baby coming!
Monica: I can't believe I'm going to be an aunt! I'll have a nephew.
Ross: That's nice. Get out!

Chandler: Oh, come on. You told me about the last dream.
Rachel: No, forget it.
Chandler: Oh, why not. Was I doing anything particularly... saucy?
Rachel: All right, fine. Um, you were not the only one there. Joey was there too.
Joey: All right.
Ross: Was there... uh, huh, huh, huh... anybody, anybody else there?
Rachel: No.
Ross: You're sure? Nobody, uh, handed out, uh, mints or anything?

Monica: You have got to do something about the humping!
Ross: What? It's just a phase.
Chandler: Well, that's what we said about Joey.

Chandler: Joe... Joe... Joe... Stalin?
Joey: Stalin! Stalin. Do I know that name? It sounds familiar.
Chandler: Well, it does not ring a bell with me!
Joey: Joe Stalin. You know, that's pretty good!
Chandler: Hey, you know, you might wanna try Joseph.
Joey: Joseph Stalin. I think you'd remember that!

Rachel: Monica, would you calm down? The credit card people said you only had to pay for the stuff that you bought.
Monica: Still, it's just such reckless spending.
Ross: I think when somebody steals your credit card they've kind of already thrown caution to the wind.

Chandler: (About Marcel) How can he be an adult already?
Ross: I know. One day he's this little thing. Then he's this little thing that I can't get off my leg.

Joey: You know there already is a Joseph Stalin?!
Chandler: You're kidding!
Joey: Apparently he was this Russian dictator who slaughtered all these people. You'd think you would've known that!
Chandler: Ya know, you'd think I would have.

Phoebe: We found her. We found the girl.
Joey: Did you call the cops?
Rachel: Nope. We took her to lunch.
Chandler: Oh, your own brand of vigilante justice?

Friends Season 1 Quotes

Rachel: Daddy! Daddy listen to me! It's like all my life everyone's told me, "You're a shoe! You're a shoe! You're a shoe!" Well, what if I don't want to be a shoe? What if I wanna be a purse or a hat? No I don't want you to buy me a hat, I'm saying I am a hat. It's a metaphor Daddy!
Ross: You can see where he'd have trouble.

Casting Director: Name?
Joey: Holden McGroin.