Phoebe: (About Ross and Susan arguing) There are babies coming into the world in this very building and your negative fighting noises are not the first thing they should hear!
Ross: Yeah, Susan.
Phoebe: Don't make me do this again, I do not like my voice like this!

Monica: (Seeing a woman with newborn twins) No fair! I don't even have one! How come they get two?
Chandler: You'll get one.
Monica: Oh yeah? When?
Chandler: All right. I'll tell you what. When we're 40, if neither one of us are married, what do you say you and I get together and have one?
Monica: Why won't I be married when I'm 40?
Chandler: Oh, no, no. I just meant hypothetically.
Monica: Okay, hypothetically, why won't I be married when I'm 40?
Chandler: No, no, no.
Monica: What is it? Is there something fundamentally unmarriable about me?
Chandler: Uh, uh.
Monica: Well?
Chandler: Dear God! This parachute is a knapsack!
(Chandler throws himself over the back of the chair he was sitting in, pretending he can't open his parachute.)

Monica: Tell him.
Rachel: No.
Phoebe: Tell him, tell him.
Monica: Just... please tell him.
Rachel: Shut up!
Chandler: Tell me what?
Monica: Look at you, you won't even look at him.
Chandler: (Sarcastically) Oh, come on tell me. I could use another reason why women won't look at me.

Monica: I want a baby.
Chandler: Not tonight, honey. I got an early day tomorrow.
Monica: Get up. Come on. Let's get some coffee.
Chandler: Oh, ok, because we never do that.

Carol: What does he look like?
Ross: (Studying him) Kind of like my Uncle Ed covered in Jello.

Ethan: Uh, before we get into any staying-over stuff, there is something you should know.
Monica: Okay, is this like, "I have an early class tomorrow," or, "I'm secretly married to a goat?"

Joey: What the hell does a paleontologist need a beeper for?
Monica: Is it, like, for dinosaur emergencies? "Help! Come quick, they're still extinct!"

Oh, come on tell me. I could use another reason why women won't look at me.


Ross: Monica, let's go! Come on people! Woman in labor!
Chandler: (Doing a little dance) Hey Ross, look what I got going.
Ross: Save it for the cab. What are you going? We're going to a hospital!
Rachel: (Putting on makeup) What? So I can't look nice? There are doctors there.
Ross: Joey, get out of the fridge!
Joey: All right, all right!
Ross: What is that?
Joey: For the ride.
Chandler: Like a cab--
Ross: Save it!
Chandler: Okay, hating this!
Ross:Monica, come one, now! Let's go! Baby coming!
Monica: I can't believe I'm going to be an aunt! I'll have a nephew.
Ross: That's nice. Get out!

Phoebe: Can you see me operating a drill press?
Joey: I don't know. What are you wearing?

Ross: (About his new beeper) No, it's for when Carol goes into labor. She can get me wherever I am. I mean, all she has to do is to dial 55-JIMBO.
Chandler: A cool phone number, and a possible name for the kid.

Chandler: Well, my secretary is gonna be out for a couple of weeks. She is having one of her boobs reduced. Its a whole big boob story.
Phoebe: I could be a secretary.
Chandler: Well, you know Pheebs, I dont know if its your kinda thing, because it involves a lot of being normal... for a large portion of the day.

Friends Season 1 Quotes

Rachel: Daddy! Daddy listen to me! It's like all my life everyone's told me, "You're a shoe! You're a shoe! You're a shoe!" Well, what if I don't want to be a shoe? What if I wanna be a purse or a hat? No I don't want you to buy me a hat, I'm saying I am a hat. It's a metaphor Daddy!
Ross: You can see where he'd have trouble.

Monica: Pheebs, do you have a plan?
Phoebe: I don't even have a "pla."