Monica: (About Phoebe) I hope she's okay.
Joey: Yeah, I know exactly what she's going through.
Monica: How do you know exactly what she's going through.
Joey: She told us.

Chandler: You know, I remember my father... all dressed up in the red suit, with the big black boots and the leather belt. Sneaking around downstairs, he didn't want anybody to see him, but he'd be drunk so he'd stumble, crash into something and wake everybody up.
Rachel: That doesn't sound like a very merry Christmas.
Chandler: Who said anything about Christmas?

Joey: Rach, these are for you.
Rachel: Wiper blades. I don't even have a car.
Joey: No, but with this new car smell, you'll think you do.

Monica: Look if worse comes to worse, it gets a little warm, we'll call it a theme party.
Ross: Hey, here's a theme. "Come on in, live like bacon."

Ho, ho, ho, holy crap is it hot in here!


Joey: I can't believe it's Christmas already. Ya know, I mean, one day your eating turkey, the next thing ya know, your lords are a-leaping and you geese are a-laying.
Chandler: Which is why geese are so relaxed this time of year.

(About a shirt Ross got their Mom for Christmas) Look at these authentic fake medals. I tell ya, mom's gonna be voted best dressed at the make-believe military academy.


Hello Grandma, if that is in fact your real name.


Joey: Phoebe here with the cab yet?
Chandler: Yeah, she, she brought the invisible cab... hop in.

Joey: (While giving out Christmas presents to the group) ...and for Ross, Mr. Sweet Tooth.
Ross: You got me a cola drink?
Chandler: And a lemon-lime!
Ross: Well, this is too much. I feel like I should get you another sweater.

Rachel: Did you just break the radiator?
Ross: No, I was just turning the knob and, uh, here it is.

Joey: Hey, how much did you guys tip the super this year?
Chandler: Yeah, we were gonna give fifty, but if you guys gave more, we don't wanna look bad.
Monica: Oh, actually this year we just made him homemade cookies.
Chandler: And twenty-five it is.
Joey: You gave him cookies?
Monica: Money is so impersonal. Cookies says someone really cares... Alright, we're broke, but cookies do say that.

Friends Season 2 Quotes

Chandler: Joey's tailor... took advantage of me.
Ross: What?
Joey: No way, I've been going to the guy for twelve years.
Chandler: Oh come on, he said he was going to do my inseem, then he ran his hand up my leg and then there was definite...
Ross: What? (Chandler closes his eyes)
Chandler: Cupping.
Joey: That's how they do pants! First they go up one side, they move it over, then they go up the other side then they move it back, and then they do the rear. Ross, will you tell him. Isn't that how a tailor measures pants?
Ross: Yes, yes it is... in prison!

Rachel: Julie! Julie, isn't that great? I mean, isn't that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?
Monica: (To Julie) It's an expression.